Cal thinks I'm a bit weird when I talk about this, so I wanted other opinions.
You guys have a "place" at your kitchen table, right? That chair that you always sit in. Your spot. I thought everyone did. At home, my family and I always had specific chairs we went to at the table. When we moved and had a different table, my brother and I spent a good amount of time wandering around it, debating which one would be best.
Okay, so maybe the debating thing was weird -- but at Hollins, it was the same. At the apartment. We always sat in the same chair, did you notice? Heck, in Moody we always tried to sit at the same table.
We had a Place that we could call our own. That little spot we knew was ours. I thought this was a normal thing. I remember teachers/professors telling us we were creatures of habit, and given the opportunity we'd sit at the same place we had the year before. (Demonstrated in Trig/Precalc and AP Calculus--the teacher let us pick our seats, and being from a small town the two classes had (basically) the same people in it, and we all sat in the exact same spot second year.)
Therefore, you can probably imagine my consternation when I realized that this is not what's done here, and it's bothering me. It is amazing how much this is bothering me.
First of all, the chairs are never pushed in--that's how you know, after a long day away, that they have been used. All four chairs are ALWAYS pushed out. These people use the chairs like they use the rest of the house--with no respect for anyone else living there. I don't know why they wouldn't just go for the nearest pulled-out chair and sit down. No. They have to go for the other, not-pulled out chairs. The ones I mentally claimed for Cal and myself. I try to sit there as often as I can. For breakfast and whatnot. When no one's awake. We brought up the fact that it was bothering me briefly, and got weird looks.
It's just--I DO NOT HAVE A PLACE AT THE KITCHEN TABLE. I want to be able to say, hey, look, I have a place in this house. But the kitchen table seems to be representing our lives, here. I don't have a place there and it feels like I don't have a place in the house. Like I've been squashed in with all of my stuff but don't really belong here. It's awful, I don't like it, and sometimes I just sort of want to push them out of a chair and say "That's mine!" like some sort of kindergartner or something.
Am I overreacting? Is this the stupidest thing to be talking about right now?
I just don't feel comfortable here. At all. As I type this, my stomach is growling because I don't want to go to the kitchen and be alone with them.
Quite frankly, it's like I don't exist. That's the amount of respect I feel like I'm getting. I can't remember if I've posted this in the blog or just told Erin, but here's the way I deal with people: upon meeting them, they have my respect. They don't need to earn it. I like to think of everyone as awesome human beings. Innocent until proven guilty.
Then, when they've done something to get that respect taken away--say, not being respectful of my space--it's gone pretty much forever and they're never getting it back. Harsh? Maybe. But they had a chance and lost it.
So right now, I feel like I've "lost" my chance with them, if that makes since. Like I've done something horrible, because they're treating me the way I would be treating them if I was a little more immature and they'd lost my respect (which, quite frankly, they have). Last week I was chased out of the house by some video on someone's computer turned up to full volume right outside my door (turned up to full volume so that it could be heard over the video game played down the hall, also turned up to full volume). Taking refuge in the library, I just wanted to beat my head against a wall.
In answer to any questions, yes, we are planning on moving. It's just that our lease is up in October, so we can't yet.
It's like any discussion about anything just goes over heads too. I don't even know. I hate it, I hate it here, I want to live with Cal all by ourselves in some nice little one bedroom house that I can decorate with ideas from pinterest. And goshdarnit, I'd have a place at that kitchen table. Might even write my name on it with glitter.
Of course, Cal and I probably aren't going to get that any time soon, since we want to save money more than we want to protect our sanity. I just need to keep thinking: Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe. It's all to go to Europe.
...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
The World is Ruled by Money
Right, so, I was trying to figure out my life again. You know, long term. Because I'm quite enjoying this job as a nanny, but as it stands now he has a place open for him at the daycare centre in January (which is around the time the position was going to end, anyway). I probably need to be making a bit more money then too, as Cal might not be able to keep his job while doing his Graduate Diploma in Education. Anyway.
We've also been discussing where we want to live again. Here is what we know:
1) I absolutely love this city. It's city, but it's suburb too--it's not like London, where everything is so incredibly crowded and you feel like you need to put a lock on your purse just to get on the tube. There's diversity and lots of stuff to do with pretty great public transport, so everything's at your fingertips. But the people are so much friendlier than, say, London. People talk on public transport. And smile.
2) My friends and family aren't here. For family, this is largely in regards to when we have children (but we want to have everything sorted by then--I'd rather not move countries with a toddler in tow!). Cal pointed out that I'm probably going to want family around when we have kids, and I think he's right. He's not that close to his family, and despite me quite liking his siblings, I do want my children to know their grandparents.
3) But that brings us to another dilemma: I don't want to live in Michigan. Southern Michigan isn't that great, the UP has more empty space than not, and Northern Michigan is just... Well. I don't want to be stuck there. Again. Suffocating. Plus, I want my kids to have more interactions with people who are NOT white protestants, thank you very much. So, no Michigan, no family too close by. Yeah, probably more frequent visits, but how much more is "more frequent?"
4) If we didn't live in Michigan, where would we live? My next thought was east coast, because so many of you people reading this live over there. I want my pocket of friends back, close enough for a visit maybe once a month or so (or you know, more.) But then what kind of job would I take on? What do I want to do with my life?
5) Which brings us to the title of this post. The obvious choice for me would be New York, where all the publishing jobs are. I would still quite like to do publishing (more on that below), but I'm not sure anymore if I could live in New York. I really didn't like living in London and feeling so crowded all the time. Brisbane doesn't feel that way at all, which is partially what I love about it. Certain people tell me New York is quite similar to London. I'd have to visit first to be certain, of course, but right now my heart's saying no. Which pretty much means no publishing jobs, right?
Back to the title: THE WORLD IS RULED BY MONEY. Upon realizing this, I realized what was making me hesitate in regards to publishing. Publishing is all about making money. Obviously. But... because I'm so passionate about what I read, I'm not sure if I want to go into the business of "reading for money." You know? Things are getting published that don't deserve it, but they're making a ton of money (coughFiftyShadescough). Now, this isn't just sour grapes about my own manuscript not being taken up. I'm not JK or Tammy or someone. But every person I call a friend is way better than that author, and none of us are published.
I don't want to be in it for the money. I want to be in it for the quality and the interesting and still make money. In my head, the world is ideal. In reality, it is not.
So if you were keeping track, I a) don't know where to live, and b) don't know what I want to do with my life. Still. Childcare doesn't pay THAT much in the long run. Not if you're thinking about having at least two kids and enough money to travel frequently. I hate thinking.
6) I just thought about ways to save money. We could relocate to the UK. Now, I didn't like living in London, but living somewhere like Inverness or something wouldn't be so bad. UK has bonus points for being closer to the US (and half the cost of getting there) as well as being close to Europe for holiday excursions. A bit of research tells me they take on teachers and their spouses, so once Cal's all qualified it would potentially be feasible.
It's just, there's an entire WORLD out there, you guys. I haven't seen enough of it. I have to spend my time making money in order to travel, and then have no real time to do any traveling because I have to have a job where I can make money. Five years from now I want to be in the process of starting a family, because I don't want to be an older parent and I definitely want kids. But once you have kids, how impossible is it to travel? Because now you have kids who don't want to go to boring old ruins and cry in planes and have to go down for a nap at certain times. Plus you need a job to feed them, and a job takes up time, time you won't be able to travel...
In summary: I don't know what I want to do with my life, or maybe I do, and it's just that it's impossible to achieve given the Earth's current circumference.
If Pangaea could just reform, or something, I could live here and be close to family, friends, and places I want to visit. I'd still have the "what' to work out, but I'd be quite comfortable with the "where."
We've also been discussing where we want to live again. Here is what we know:
1) I absolutely love this city. It's city, but it's suburb too--it's not like London, where everything is so incredibly crowded and you feel like you need to put a lock on your purse just to get on the tube. There's diversity and lots of stuff to do with pretty great public transport, so everything's at your fingertips. But the people are so much friendlier than, say, London. People talk on public transport. And smile.
2) My friends and family aren't here. For family, this is largely in regards to when we have children (but we want to have everything sorted by then--I'd rather not move countries with a toddler in tow!). Cal pointed out that I'm probably going to want family around when we have kids, and I think he's right. He's not that close to his family, and despite me quite liking his siblings, I do want my children to know their grandparents.
3) But that brings us to another dilemma: I don't want to live in Michigan. Southern Michigan isn't that great, the UP has more empty space than not, and Northern Michigan is just... Well. I don't want to be stuck there. Again. Suffocating. Plus, I want my kids to have more interactions with people who are NOT white protestants, thank you very much. So, no Michigan, no family too close by. Yeah, probably more frequent visits, but how much more is "more frequent?"
4) If we didn't live in Michigan, where would we live? My next thought was east coast, because so many of you people reading this live over there. I want my pocket of friends back, close enough for a visit maybe once a month or so (or you know, more.) But then what kind of job would I take on? What do I want to do with my life?
5) Which brings us to the title of this post. The obvious choice for me would be New York, where all the publishing jobs are. I would still quite like to do publishing (more on that below), but I'm not sure anymore if I could live in New York. I really didn't like living in London and feeling so crowded all the time. Brisbane doesn't feel that way at all, which is partially what I love about it. Certain people tell me New York is quite similar to London. I'd have to visit first to be certain, of course, but right now my heart's saying no. Which pretty much means no publishing jobs, right?
Back to the title: THE WORLD IS RULED BY MONEY. Upon realizing this, I realized what was making me hesitate in regards to publishing. Publishing is all about making money. Obviously. But... because I'm so passionate about what I read, I'm not sure if I want to go into the business of "reading for money." You know? Things are getting published that don't deserve it, but they're making a ton of money (coughFiftyShadescough). Now, this isn't just sour grapes about my own manuscript not being taken up. I'm not JK or Tammy or someone. But every person I call a friend is way better than that author, and none of us are published.
I don't want to be in it for the money. I want to be in it for the quality and the interesting and still make money. In my head, the world is ideal. In reality, it is not.
So if you were keeping track, I a) don't know where to live, and b) don't know what I want to do with my life. Still. Childcare doesn't pay THAT much in the long run. Not if you're thinking about having at least two kids and enough money to travel frequently. I hate thinking.
6) I just thought about ways to save money. We could relocate to the UK. Now, I didn't like living in London, but living somewhere like Inverness or something wouldn't be so bad. UK has bonus points for being closer to the US (and half the cost of getting there) as well as being close to Europe for holiday excursions. A bit of research tells me they take on teachers and their spouses, so once Cal's all qualified it would potentially be feasible.
It's just, there's an entire WORLD out there, you guys. I haven't seen enough of it. I have to spend my time making money in order to travel, and then have no real time to do any traveling because I have to have a job where I can make money. Five years from now I want to be in the process of starting a family, because I don't want to be an older parent and I definitely want kids. But once you have kids, how impossible is it to travel? Because now you have kids who don't want to go to boring old ruins and cry in planes and have to go down for a nap at certain times. Plus you need a job to feed them, and a job takes up time, time you won't be able to travel...
In summary: I don't know what I want to do with my life, or maybe I do, and it's just that it's impossible to achieve given the Earth's current circumference.
If Pangaea could just reform, or something, I could live here and be close to family, friends, and places I want to visit. I'd still have the "what' to work out, but I'd be quite comfortable with the "where."
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
The art of finding friends when you've Gone Places
Right, so, I posted weeks ago about not being able to find friends very easily. It's just not a simple task when, like me, going to bars and clubs and whatnot just isn't what you do. I mean, I suppose I COULD go there, but the chances of me finding people who also don't like going to bars AT a bar seems kind of slim, don't you think?
Where have I met my friends, I asked myself. The answer: school and the internet. Since I'm not longer in school, I turned to the internet.
GUESS WHAT. There are "friendship dating" sites. That's right. Where you sign up to meet people compatible with you--but just as friends. I signed up with Girlfriend Social, a site for women only who probably "is in a 'M4' category - Moved, Married, Motherhood - or you simply are looking for More Friends to be part of your girlfriend circles of friendship."
Well, I'm certainly in the "moved" category. Moved far, far away. Over most of a continent and a giant ocean.
Anyway, here again I ran into some trouble in regards to my ejection from the Bubble. While attempting to explain who I was in "about me" I kept thinking about who I am as a friend, since you know, I'm trying to get some friends. And who I wanted in a friend, too. The answer is "What Can Be Found In The Bubble." You know what I'm saying? I'm the friend who will put on her bathing suit and run around the soccer field in the rain with dinner rush hour looking down at us from the dining hall. I'm the friend who doesn't mind skipping through the parking lot of Walmart in the evening. And I want friends who will hike up a mountain in a fairy costume and sing song parodies and perform skits with me. I want friends who will sing the Game of Thrones song at the top of their lungs in the middle of a professional building.
But there's something in the back of my mind that warns me I'm not in the Bubble anymore: I'd probably get some weird looks if I ran around a soccer field in my bathing suit while it was raining, and I know I'm going to get a couple of stairs hiking up Mt. Cootha in a fairy costume this October.
The point is, I want someone who WON'T care that we're getting stared at and WON'T even think twice about it and WILL bomb my house with a few hundred banana peels with drawn-on faces on my birthday.
And from the start, too. I don't know how to do this "get to know people before showing your weirdness" thing. Surely the weird will scare them off? I'm not even that comfortable with the people I live with yet. It feels like I'll be judged, which doesn't matter from random passersby, but when it's people who I want to like me, I tend to hold back.
Why was it so easy in the Bubble to just let go?
Sisterhood. Gosh darned sisterhood. I need a pocket of Sisters to come over this way. Seriously, there's a futon here with your name on it.
I'll see what comes from the site. Right now I'm seeing lots of people who like to party in my search. I could give it a try, but the party held here was such an uncomfortable, disastrous experience that I don't really have a wish to repeat it any time soon. Seriously, who has a party without a Disney Movie? Does. Not. Compute.
Who knows? Maybe I'll find someone worthy of Bubbleness. Do you think that's possible? An honorary Sister? Do those exist? Anyone have any luck finding them? Because there are over two million people in this city and I haven't found one yet.
Maybe Cal and I should look for couples, or something. Double dates. I don't even know.
Anyway. Just over here, moping a bit. Blah.
Where have I met my friends, I asked myself. The answer: school and the internet. Since I'm not longer in school, I turned to the internet.
GUESS WHAT. There are "friendship dating" sites. That's right. Where you sign up to meet people compatible with you--but just as friends. I signed up with Girlfriend Social, a site for women only who probably "is in a 'M4' category - Moved, Married, Motherhood - or you simply are looking for More Friends to be part of your girlfriend circles of friendship."
Well, I'm certainly in the "moved" category. Moved far, far away. Over most of a continent and a giant ocean.
Anyway, here again I ran into some trouble in regards to my ejection from the Bubble. While attempting to explain who I was in "about me" I kept thinking about who I am as a friend, since you know, I'm trying to get some friends. And who I wanted in a friend, too. The answer is "What Can Be Found In The Bubble." You know what I'm saying? I'm the friend who will put on her bathing suit and run around the soccer field in the rain with dinner rush hour looking down at us from the dining hall. I'm the friend who doesn't mind skipping through the parking lot of Walmart in the evening. And I want friends who will hike up a mountain in a fairy costume and sing song parodies and perform skits with me. I want friends who will sing the Game of Thrones song at the top of their lungs in the middle of a professional building.
But there's something in the back of my mind that warns me I'm not in the Bubble anymore: I'd probably get some weird looks if I ran around a soccer field in my bathing suit while it was raining, and I know I'm going to get a couple of stairs hiking up Mt. Cootha in a fairy costume this October.
The point is, I want someone who WON'T care that we're getting stared at and WON'T even think twice about it and WILL bomb my house with a few hundred banana peels with drawn-on faces on my birthday.
And from the start, too. I don't know how to do this "get to know people before showing your weirdness" thing. Surely the weird will scare them off? I'm not even that comfortable with the people I live with yet. It feels like I'll be judged, which doesn't matter from random passersby, but when it's people who I want to like me, I tend to hold back.
Why was it so easy in the Bubble to just let go?
Sisterhood. Gosh darned sisterhood. I need a pocket of Sisters to come over this way. Seriously, there's a futon here with your name on it.
I'll see what comes from the site. Right now I'm seeing lots of people who like to party in my search. I could give it a try, but the party held here was such an uncomfortable, disastrous experience that I don't really have a wish to repeat it any time soon. Seriously, who has a party without a Disney Movie? Does. Not. Compute.
Who knows? Maybe I'll find someone worthy of Bubbleness. Do you think that's possible? An honorary Sister? Do those exist? Anyone have any luck finding them? Because there are over two million people in this city and I haven't found one yet.
Maybe Cal and I should look for couples, or something. Double dates. I don't even know.
Anyway. Just over here, moping a bit. Blah.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Long Live and a few other things.
I realized today how much I miss everyone in the US. And by everyone, I mostly mean all of you people reading this. I talk to my family just about every week, but it was you guys who I actually spent every minute of the last four years with, and I miss you all terribly!
This was brought home today by the fact that Cal has a friend over and they're playing video games, which is all well and good, but it makes me want to go out and conquer some stuff. With you guys. Frolicking through the fields and ducking when we see a car, hopping over the creek and getting a flip-flop full of mud (or finding a jaw!), running around the soccer field in the rain--it's the kind of stuff you need to do with a really good friend.
It's not that there aren't opportunities to make friends here. Okay, actually, no, it is. It is that. How do real-life adult people make new friends if they don't have school to do it for them? I have come up with the following ways:
1) At a bar. This seems to be a logical explanation for where people meet, especially at our age. But it just seems like the kind of people I'm going to want to hang out with I'm not GOING to find at a bar. Am I right? I mean, there are just so many creepy people who end up in bars. It's the kind of place I'd want to go WITH a giant group of friends. How could you tell the difference between the creepers and the people who are being friendly?
2) Your apartment neighbors. A la Friends. But we live in a house. And my housemates are very nice, but the connection I had with you guys simply isn't there. And they're not so into conquering.
3) Play Dates. I mean, I am going to play group as a nanny, which is actually pretty fun. The adults don't get to interact all that much, but the few people I met were very nice. They were just all roughly a decade older than I am. Which isn't horrible, but you know, we probably wouldn't be hanging out or anything. What I need is another child with a nanny to join up. I bet another nanny and I could bond. Maybe I'll scour a park next time we go, see if there are any there...
4) NaNo meet-ups. I would definitely meet some people there who I would like, I'm sure. Cal actually suggested this when I brought up how much I missed hanging out with people. Brisbane actually does have a very lively NaNo population. I'm on their FB page. I'm kind of waiting for a meet-up day when Cal and I can both go. I'm so nervous about it!
Actually, I did get an e-mail from another American who's also over here, living with her husband. I'm not sure how old she is or really what she's like. She found me on Gumtree and we've just e-mailed back and forth a couple of times. I'd like to meet her since I've never met someone who did the long distance thing US-Australia before!
So I guess there are opportunities. But how in the WORLD do I find someone willing to be as weird as all of you? There is absolutely NO replacement. Not that I'm trying to find one. But I just feel like no one even going to come close! Anyone else having this problem?
Anyway, off that topic: a few other notes. Firstly, I do have some video I need to put up but I haven't gotten around to actually making a video to go with the clips, so it may be a project for the weekend. It was going to be a project for this past weekend, but totally didn't happen.
Secondly, I wrote almost six handwritten pages today during nap time! It was wonderful! I have other handwritten pages I'll be typing up after this. Will edit with my word count. It's under where it should be (way under!) but I've changed my goal from 50,000 to "write every day" which is a much higher goal than my not-writing that I was doing before. So, yeah. Hopefully I get to at least 25,000--pretty sure that's possible--but if not, well, at least I'll have written something every day.
((Update: My total is now 3938, a bit under half today's goal. Not too bad. I actually wrote just over 1100 words during nap time today. I was on a roll, so I don't expect that every day--writing by hand is NOT my forte--but still!))
OH BAI. (And Long Live.)
This was brought home today by the fact that Cal has a friend over and they're playing video games, which is all well and good, but it makes me want to go out and conquer some stuff. With you guys. Frolicking through the fields and ducking when we see a car, hopping over the creek and getting a flip-flop full of mud (or finding a jaw!), running around the soccer field in the rain--it's the kind of stuff you need to do with a really good friend.
It's not that there aren't opportunities to make friends here. Okay, actually, no, it is. It is that. How do real-life adult people make new friends if they don't have school to do it for them? I have come up with the following ways:
1) At a bar. This seems to be a logical explanation for where people meet, especially at our age. But it just seems like the kind of people I'm going to want to hang out with I'm not GOING to find at a bar. Am I right? I mean, there are just so many creepy people who end up in bars. It's the kind of place I'd want to go WITH a giant group of friends. How could you tell the difference between the creepers and the people who are being friendly?
2) Your apartment neighbors. A la Friends. But we live in a house. And my housemates are very nice, but the connection I had with you guys simply isn't there. And they're not so into conquering.
3) Play Dates. I mean, I am going to play group as a nanny, which is actually pretty fun. The adults don't get to interact all that much, but the few people I met were very nice. They were just all roughly a decade older than I am. Which isn't horrible, but you know, we probably wouldn't be hanging out or anything. What I need is another child with a nanny to join up. I bet another nanny and I could bond. Maybe I'll scour a park next time we go, see if there are any there...
4) NaNo meet-ups. I would definitely meet some people there who I would like, I'm sure. Cal actually suggested this when I brought up how much I missed hanging out with people. Brisbane actually does have a very lively NaNo population. I'm on their FB page. I'm kind of waiting for a meet-up day when Cal and I can both go. I'm so nervous about it!
Actually, I did get an e-mail from another American who's also over here, living with her husband. I'm not sure how old she is or really what she's like. She found me on Gumtree and we've just e-mailed back and forth a couple of times. I'd like to meet her since I've never met someone who did the long distance thing US-Australia before!
So I guess there are opportunities. But how in the WORLD do I find someone willing to be as weird as all of you? There is absolutely NO replacement. Not that I'm trying to find one. But I just feel like no one even going to come close! Anyone else having this problem?
Anyway, off that topic: a few other notes. Firstly, I do have some video I need to put up but I haven't gotten around to actually making a video to go with the clips, so it may be a project for the weekend. It was going to be a project for this past weekend, but totally didn't happen.
Secondly, I wrote almost six handwritten pages today during nap time! It was wonderful! I have other handwritten pages I'll be typing up after this. Will edit with my word count. It's under where it should be (way under!) but I've changed my goal from 50,000 to "write every day" which is a much higher goal than my not-writing that I was doing before. So, yeah. Hopefully I get to at least 25,000--pretty sure that's possible--but if not, well, at least I'll have written something every day.
((Update: My total is now 3938, a bit under half today's goal. Not too bad. I actually wrote just over 1100 words during nap time today. I was on a roll, so I don't expect that every day--writing by hand is NOT my forte--but still!))
OH BAI. (And Long Live.)
Friday, August 3, 2012
The First Weekend
I just wanted to say, though I've been working steadily since I was fifteen, I have never had a "9-5" or real weekends. In high school I would always work at least one day a weekend in addition to afternoons during the week. At Hollins, weekends were obviously dedicated to homework and the like. Two solid days of no responsibility after a week of doing things? Unthinkable.
And so, so, SO necessary. This week:
There are clean clothes in the hamper that didn't get folded.
Dirty clothes all over the floor because there's no hamper to put them in.
Dishes piled up on the nightstand.
Tissues EVERYWHERE.
No food in the cupboards.
Incredibly few "365" pictures on my camera.
Empty chip bags chillin' by the fridge.
Important documents scattered around by the TV. (Blame the cat for this one)
Dinner was served at 8 consistently.
In short, everything is a complete and utter mess. I just didn't care enough when I got home each evening. I would sort of fall into bed and and pull off my tennis shoes (too cold for flipflops--but they finally made my pinky-toe nail cut into the toe beside it yesterday. I hate shoes!), and my jacket, and lay there cooling off after a walk home. It's not even that far and there aren't many hills. I think my body overcompensates for the lack of heat on the outside by absolutely overheating me from within. Anyway.
I get home at about 5:30, and I've been falling asleep between 9:30 and 10:30, which I don't think will be a consistent thing--I'm just getting re-used to not getting 12 hours of sleep each night! But that's four to five hours of being able to clean and whatnot right? Wrong. I don't know where the time goes. Well, I do. First Cal and I make dinner (he gets home around the same time--sometimes later--each day!) On Tuesday we had to do a little shopping because that's our usual day to do it and neither of us obviously had time that day but we had very little food in the house. So we got a few things to get us by and THEN had to go make dinner, which was very late and I was starving.
But after that, dinner's been later than usual too because neither of us are there to start it up to be ready when the other gets home, so that's been frustrating, having to actually make dinner AFTER work! I'm looking into some crock pot recipes that we can leave on all day. Only thing is, we don't have a crock pot (or a place to put it), but we'll figure something out!
We've been watching an episode of Buffy with dinner, having finished Avatar. You guys. I don't even know what to think about this show. Neither of us had seen it before, and it just makes me watch the screen in horror. So THAT was the 90s, huh?
And at that point, after Buffy, it's like an hour before bed MAYBE and I sit down to write a bit or read--I'll do a CampNaNo post or video later today--and then I sleep, wake up at 7, start the next day. Weekends, I think, were designed for restoring a bit of sanity to the environment in which you live. I was GOING to dedicate weekends to writing like a wild woman, but as it is, my weekend's to-do list looks something like this:
Sign up for First Aid Certificate training.
CLEAN THE ROOM.
Do a load of laundry.
Actually put clean laundry away.
Do the dishes.
Organize cupboards/fridge.
Create next week's meal plan.
Make a shopping list.
Go shopping.
Finish that library book, it's due soon.
Type up hand-written NaNo words before you go insane.
Write... IF YOU HAVE TIME.
That said, I absolutely love that I feel like I don't have time for EVERYTHING. You know? I mean, my last few posts were all "omg not motivated have NOTHING to do" and now everything is a lot more interesting since I have too much to do. I think I'll be better at time-managing over the next few weeks. I'm going to write up a schedule and stick to it--because I mean, one load of laundry when I get home isn't that taxing, right? And I could always write up a meal plan on Fridays during nap time or something.
Anyway... that's an awfully rambly post to say "my room is messy and I'm going to clean it." But there you go.
OH! Also, I think I'm addicted to Nutella. That is, I'm going through withdrawals. I can't eat it or peanut butter in the mornings (usually I'd have one or the other OR BOTH on toast) because of the potential allergic reactions in a certain small child if any of it happens to be on my clothes/face/teeth after and gets transferred over to him. So all week I've been CRAVING Nutella. And now I'm going to go get some for breakfast, since it's a Saturday. OMNOMNOM. Makes me appreciate it that much more, I think!
And so, so, SO necessary. This week:
There are clean clothes in the hamper that didn't get folded.
Dirty clothes all over the floor because there's no hamper to put them in.
Dishes piled up on the nightstand.
Tissues EVERYWHERE.
No food in the cupboards.
Incredibly few "365" pictures on my camera.
Empty chip bags chillin' by the fridge.
Important documents scattered around by the TV. (Blame the cat for this one)
Dinner was served at 8 consistently.
In short, everything is a complete and utter mess. I just didn't care enough when I got home each evening. I would sort of fall into bed and and pull off my tennis shoes (too cold for flipflops--but they finally made my pinky-toe nail cut into the toe beside it yesterday. I hate shoes!), and my jacket, and lay there cooling off after a walk home. It's not even that far and there aren't many hills. I think my body overcompensates for the lack of heat on the outside by absolutely overheating me from within. Anyway.
I get home at about 5:30, and I've been falling asleep between 9:30 and 10:30, which I don't think will be a consistent thing--I'm just getting re-used to not getting 12 hours of sleep each night! But that's four to five hours of being able to clean and whatnot right? Wrong. I don't know where the time goes. Well, I do. First Cal and I make dinner (he gets home around the same time--sometimes later--each day!) On Tuesday we had to do a little shopping because that's our usual day to do it and neither of us obviously had time that day but we had very little food in the house. So we got a few things to get us by and THEN had to go make dinner, which was very late and I was starving.
But after that, dinner's been later than usual too because neither of us are there to start it up to be ready when the other gets home, so that's been frustrating, having to actually make dinner AFTER work! I'm looking into some crock pot recipes that we can leave on all day. Only thing is, we don't have a crock pot (or a place to put it), but we'll figure something out!
We've been watching an episode of Buffy with dinner, having finished Avatar. You guys. I don't even know what to think about this show. Neither of us had seen it before, and it just makes me watch the screen in horror. So THAT was the 90s, huh?
And at that point, after Buffy, it's like an hour before bed MAYBE and I sit down to write a bit or read--I'll do a CampNaNo post or video later today--and then I sleep, wake up at 7, start the next day. Weekends, I think, were designed for restoring a bit of sanity to the environment in which you live. I was GOING to dedicate weekends to writing like a wild woman, but as it is, my weekend's to-do list looks something like this:
Sign up for First Aid Certificate training.
CLEAN THE ROOM.
Do a load of laundry.
Actually put clean laundry away.
Do the dishes.
Organize cupboards/fridge.
Create next week's meal plan.
Make a shopping list.
Go shopping.
Finish that library book, it's due soon.
Type up hand-written NaNo words before you go insane.
Write... IF YOU HAVE TIME.
That said, I absolutely love that I feel like I don't have time for EVERYTHING. You know? I mean, my last few posts were all "omg not motivated have NOTHING to do" and now everything is a lot more interesting since I have too much to do. I think I'll be better at time-managing over the next few weeks. I'm going to write up a schedule and stick to it--because I mean, one load of laundry when I get home isn't that taxing, right? And I could always write up a meal plan on Fridays during nap time or something.
Anyway... that's an awfully rambly post to say "my room is messy and I'm going to clean it." But there you go.
OH! Also, I think I'm addicted to Nutella. That is, I'm going through withdrawals. I can't eat it or peanut butter in the mornings (usually I'd have one or the other OR BOTH on toast) because of the potential allergic reactions in a certain small child if any of it happens to be on my clothes/face/teeth after and gets transferred over to him. So all week I've been CRAVING Nutella. And now I'm going to go get some for breakfast, since it's a Saturday. OMNOMNOM. Makes me appreciate it that much more, I think!
An Obsession with a Tree and Other Reflections on a First Week
I have to say, nannying is kind of an "ideal" job, really. I mean, if you like kids. My days have consisted of playing in the sandbox, reading picture books, Ring Around the Rosie, peek-a-boo, singing along to nursery rhymes, and tickling. Then there's nap time, where I get to write. Almost two solid hours of writing fun, depending on the day. And I get paid!
Some things:
1) The child has developed this obsession with a tree in the back yard. It's sort of built up a bit, so it's a toddler-step up to get to it, and I think he's just discovered that he can reach it. He will spend so much time just standing near the tree and staring up at the leaves and pointing that I decided I needed to do something to interact with him, so I started teaching him the different parts of a tree: trunk, bark, branch, and leaves. He will now say "bark" and "branch" (well, more like "berk" and "bernch") when I point at them, which is absolutely adorable.
2) He absolutely loves water. Like, adores it. He keeps asking me to turn the taps on whenever we're outside, but it's just so cold that I don't want him to get all wet. So today I set up an area in the bathroom, just grabbing some stuff out of the kitchen. I set up some towels, a giant bowl of water, a cup, and a funnel. He literally sat and poured water from the cup into the funnel (which I directed at the bowl) for an hour. Non-stop. Fully concentrating. He was just so enthralled by how the water poured from the funnel, and then in the feel of the water going out of the funnel (alternately sticking his hands underneath the spout and then inside the mouth of the funnel). And he would just giggle. So adorable.
3) He started crying when I leave. Is it horrible that I take that as a good sign?
4) I have created a game that the parents will probably hate me for. I do a bit of housework when I can, liking hanging the washing out on the line (since this country doesn't do dryers!) and then folding it in the afternoon. On Monday he was running around while his mother and I did this together, and that's when he fell and hit his eye hard against a concrete pot, making his eyebrow swell enough to make his eye look half the size of the other one and providing for some spectacular black, blue, yellow, and green bruising. Anyway, I think he became less keen on running around in that area and instead sort of clung to my legs when I went out the next day. I picked him up and you could just see the light in his eye when he realized HE was now tall enough to touch the pegs. He can get them off the line but hasn't quite mastered clipping them back on. Anyway, he'll collect some pegs and try to pin up clothes but inevitably his collection will fall to the ground, at which point he goes "uh-oh!" and I set him down and say "pick them up!" and hastily reach for a few more items I can hang up/fold while he gathers the pegs. Then he runs back and throws his arms around my legs and says "UP!" and we start the process over again. He thinks this is THE BEST game. Sometimes if he hasn't dropped the pegs in a while he'll throw them down instead. "Uh-oh!" Makes hanging up the washing take about twice as long, but so cute.
5) The child doesn't throw fits. Like, at all. Except at nap time. But then only when his mother is there (she works from home two days a week). Today, after "UP!" we went in for nap time and he just sort of babbled at me and pointed to the books he wanted read to him and then pointed to his clock. (There are these fascinating toddler clocks with a sun and stars. Set the amount of time for them to sleep, and the sun goes away and the stars come out. The sun comes back when it's time to get up. If he wakes up early, he'll just babble to himself until "the sun comes out," at which point he's like "HEY! It's time to get up!") So basically he was like, it's time to sleep now. And I put him in his cot and he waved bye and rolled over and went straight to sleep.
So basically, I kind of love this job. I mean, you know, talk to me in a few weeks maybe and I might be getting tired of it. But even changing diapers isn't that bad. Of course, I have a cold (YES, AGAIN) so maybe when my nose is a bit unblocked I'll be worse off!
I got paid for my first week and put some money into my "tax fund." I'm looking for a new spreadsheet to record financial stuff on, because I just decided that I don't like the one I made. Anyone have any suggestions?
Some things:
1) The child has developed this obsession with a tree in the back yard. It's sort of built up a bit, so it's a toddler-step up to get to it, and I think he's just discovered that he can reach it. He will spend so much time just standing near the tree and staring up at the leaves and pointing that I decided I needed to do something to interact with him, so I started teaching him the different parts of a tree: trunk, bark, branch, and leaves. He will now say "bark" and "branch" (well, more like "berk" and "bernch") when I point at them, which is absolutely adorable.
2) He absolutely loves water. Like, adores it. He keeps asking me to turn the taps on whenever we're outside, but it's just so cold that I don't want him to get all wet. So today I set up an area in the bathroom, just grabbing some stuff out of the kitchen. I set up some towels, a giant bowl of water, a cup, and a funnel. He literally sat and poured water from the cup into the funnel (which I directed at the bowl) for an hour. Non-stop. Fully concentrating. He was just so enthralled by how the water poured from the funnel, and then in the feel of the water going out of the funnel (alternately sticking his hands underneath the spout and then inside the mouth of the funnel). And he would just giggle. So adorable.
3) He started crying when I leave. Is it horrible that I take that as a good sign?
4) I have created a game that the parents will probably hate me for. I do a bit of housework when I can, liking hanging the washing out on the line (since this country doesn't do dryers!) and then folding it in the afternoon. On Monday he was running around while his mother and I did this together, and that's when he fell and hit his eye hard against a concrete pot, making his eyebrow swell enough to make his eye look half the size of the other one and providing for some spectacular black, blue, yellow, and green bruising. Anyway, I think he became less keen on running around in that area and instead sort of clung to my legs when I went out the next day. I picked him up and you could just see the light in his eye when he realized HE was now tall enough to touch the pegs. He can get them off the line but hasn't quite mastered clipping them back on. Anyway, he'll collect some pegs and try to pin up clothes but inevitably his collection will fall to the ground, at which point he goes "uh-oh!" and I set him down and say "pick them up!" and hastily reach for a few more items I can hang up/fold while he gathers the pegs. Then he runs back and throws his arms around my legs and says "UP!" and we start the process over again. He thinks this is THE BEST game. Sometimes if he hasn't dropped the pegs in a while he'll throw them down instead. "Uh-oh!" Makes hanging up the washing take about twice as long, but so cute.
5) The child doesn't throw fits. Like, at all. Except at nap time. But then only when his mother is there (she works from home two days a week). Today, after "UP!" we went in for nap time and he just sort of babbled at me and pointed to the books he wanted read to him and then pointed to his clock. (There are these fascinating toddler clocks with a sun and stars. Set the amount of time for them to sleep, and the sun goes away and the stars come out. The sun comes back when it's time to get up. If he wakes up early, he'll just babble to himself until "the sun comes out," at which point he's like "HEY! It's time to get up!") So basically he was like, it's time to sleep now. And I put him in his cot and he waved bye and rolled over and went straight to sleep.
So basically, I kind of love this job. I mean, you know, talk to me in a few weeks maybe and I might be getting tired of it. But even changing diapers isn't that bad. Of course, I have a cold (YES, AGAIN) so maybe when my nose is a bit unblocked I'll be worse off!
I got paid for my first week and put some money into my "tax fund." I'm looking for a new spreadsheet to record financial stuff on, because I just decided that I don't like the one I made. Anyone have any suggestions?
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