Job hunting... again.

Many of you know that come the new year, I'll be beginning my search for a great job once again. Alex is going to daycare starting January 7, which means I'm going to have to find something else. I will keep working with him on Thursdays, when he doesn't have daycare, for as long as I can--and if my Thursdays are taken up, I was also offered Saturday mornings to look after him and do a bit of housework.

It's sad to leave, I will say that--after caring for him forty hours a week for the last five months, I've grown quite attached. However, Alex was SUCH a good kid, and I'm worried if I go back into nannying I won't be quite as lucky. And having witnessed some of Alex's playmates' tantrums, I'm not sure if I could deal with that on a daily basis (as someone caring for a child--if I was their parent, I'd be employing some extra disciplinary action!)

So once again I face the question: what do I want to do?

This question has become quite easy to answer in theory. I can't remember if I've written about it before, but I recently learned you can make enough to live on if you get popular on YouTube and make enough videos. I've been watching a couple who do their own "reality TV show" by basically just filming as they go about their daily lives and uploading 20 minutes of it every day. Neither of them have a different job, and they're doing quite well for themselves.

I think I would find that incredibly enjoyable. I'm not saying it's easy--far from it, considering I haven't bothered to upload anything to CBBC since August. You'd have to remember to film, constantly have your camera on you, if you filmed tons you'd have to edit it down, and you'd have to make it interesting enough that people would actually want to watch you. Not to mention at the start, waiting for/trying to get subscribers (the people I'm talking about have over 60,000).

It would be a long haul, a daily commitment, subject to stop making you money at any time--yet the thought that I'd have the freedom to govern my own days is highly appealing. As it would be to anyone, I'm sure. But I feel like if I had the money for such things, I could go more places, do more things, if I didn't have work hanging over my head. I mean, just thinking about doing this Europe trip and heading off somewhere for a month--wouldn't it be cool if my "job" was just travel vlogging or something?

Or blogging--blogging would work too. I've seen loads of advertisements looking for bloggers. It's just been about topics I'm not all that interested in. I shouldn't be so choosy, I know.

But the other problem is, how to be interesting and appeal to people? I guess I sort of look at my life and think, "Well, guess I could call THIS video People Who Hate Laundry A Lot." Or: "Browsing Facebook for the Umpteenth Time, But My Friends Are All Sleeping At 4am."

I figure I have a few things to work with: travel, books, and being in a long distance relationship that worked. Those sound like interesting topics, right?

My resolution is this: every week day that I am not otherwise employed, I will:

a) Send off at least three job applications.
b) Write a blog post / make a video about SOMETHING. Such as:
        - Book review.
        - Travel (visas, travel sites, locations, restaurants, etc.)
        - Pinterest experiements--offering a plethora of topics.
        - Daily life post.

Hopefully by doing this I will at the very least get into the habit of taking the time to put up something. And while I doubt it will lead to riches, at least I'll be productively engaged. I was pathetic between graduation and employment. Granted, for a month of that I had a cold so horrible it made getting out of bed difficult... but even so!

I have to stick to this, friends. Maybe I'll call January JanBlogMo... that might keep me on track. ;)

Europe Planning

Update on our trip through Europe!

Basically, I spent all Christmas Day planning our trip through Europe. I've been running into a few snags in that we don't know exactly what's happening in the next year in regards to money, given that my job's ending soon and I don't yet have another one and Cal's job is ending soon after that. We might be able to afford to go December 2013, we might not. Regardless, a lot of flight booking sites aren't allowing me to look so far into future anyway. But here's the general plan thus far:

Brisbane, Australia to London, UK.
Stay in London for a few days, getting over jetlag by visiting familiar sites (for me, anyway).
Day trips from London: Dover, Stratford-Upon-Avon, Oxford, Canterbury.
(Total time with London as "home base": ~7 days)

Train up to Edinburgh for a night or two.
5-day tour around Scottish Highlands through Haggis Tours (look 'em up, they're awesome). Would prefer non-tours and ability to do our own thing, but as public transportation isn't great up there, this is much more convenient and relatively well priced, too.
(Total time with London as "home base": ~7 days)

Train back to London; probably stay the night.
Train to Paris, stay one night. (We just want a picture with the Eiffel Tower, basically--we're okay with a short amount of time here)
(Total time in Paris: 1 night)

Flight from Paris to Rome (only 40ish pounds each!)
Stay in Rome for 3 days, soaking up the various sites and what have you.
Train to Florence (only 1.5 hrs!), stay for a few days.
Train to Venice (2.5 hrs), stay for a few days -- be sure to take a Gondola ride and hit up Murano.
(total time in Italy: ~8 days)

And that, my friends, is 3/4 of our planned month-long trip gone--and here is where it gets a bit dodgy.

Austria: probably take train from Italy. Not exactly sure what we want to do here, except that we want to go. Salzburg, perhaps?

Prague: A few nights, again, can probably take a train--hit up main attractions.

Germany: Head to Munich, from there do a day trip to Neuschwanstein Castle (accessible by train), along with Schwangau Castle and the Museum of Bavarian Kings. (able to see all in one day--right next to each other).
Probably also see Berlin.

Netherlands: Spend a few days here, soaking up Cal's heritage.

Belgium: Just one day in Brussels.

Then: Take train from Brussels back to London, flight from London back to Australia.

I think you can tell where my internet stopped working and/or I got sidetracked looking at backpacking backpacks. Getting so excited for this trip. But I had to cut out Norway, Spain, and Greece for this particular itinerary--as it is, we'll be running ourselves pretty ragged, and I want to take some time to enjoy what we are seeing, and those three places I think need a lot of time spent in them. Oddly enough, Norway, Spain, and Greece are three places I'm most interested in, but I think that just means they're the places I want to spend the most time in, and there's just not enough time!! They're also the places I can see taking kids to down the track (I know it seems like a long way off, but by the time we head Europe-way again, we'll probably have them).

So here's the timeline of our various travel:

January: New Zealand.
Possibly December: Europe.
After/Between: I'd like to do some more travel within Australia. I figure I get to do more of this once Emily and Sarah get here!

GUESS WHAT!

...I'm married. Here are some of the pictures taken on the day! We're getting professional photos done on December 16. Enjoy! Ceremony took all of like five minutes. :P We're now going to the bank to get a joint account, and then heading off to go swimming at South Bank. REMEMBER: This is still very much on the DL! Cal's family doesn't know yet. When you see my relationship status change, then you can talk about it. :P

Stroke of brilliance!

YOU GUYS I HAVE HAD THE BEST STROKE OF BRILLIANCE. Okay, maybe not the best. It's not electricity or the internet or, I don't know, the wheel or something. But I'm really super excited about it because it's going to be kind of fun. But I can't tell you what it is, because that would ruin the surprise and possibly give an unfair advantage. And I know this is only confusing you. And probably this is going to be more for me than any of you, anyway.

BUT THE POINT IS I would like your addresses (/PO boxes/wherever you get mail). I have already messaged some of you asking for them. I will also mention beforehand that it has a slight Hollins theme to it, but people who didn't go to Hollins can also give me their addresses if they don't mind. (Ah, the plot thickens!)

Also, I've done poetry. POETRY, PEOPLE.

Anyway. You'll know when you know. Not sure when exactly this will happen. But if you'd like a little something from Australia, you know what to do.

November!

So, uh... I'm getting married in like a week and a bit. What's that about?

I wanted to post a sort of timeline of events for you people who know. We're getting married at like 10am on November 24, which is about 8pm (or wait--7pm now?) on the 23rd. HOWEVER, we are getting pictures done on December 16. I have no idea when pictures will be ready for us to put up. I *kind of* want to wait to change Facebooky information until then. We'll see how I feel. We will be taking some pictures obviously on the day (unprofessional ones) and also a video. I'll put the video up later that day for people to watch who want to watch. So basically, if a relative lets it slip on Facebook or something, I think I'll put some pictures up. But I'd really rather wait until the professional ones are done. At which point I will:

1) Change my name on FB (though it won't actually be changed in Real Life until I get back to the States. Apparently I have to be there in person? I need to research it more.)

2) Change relationship status.

3) Change status to something funny.

4) Upload professional pictures (we're buying a disc of images, which will contain all of them, and we're able to do that--without watermarks!)

So then, my friends, you can let the secret out. Because it won't be secret anymore. Unfortunately, this might not be until January. Apologies.

Anyway, IT'S NOVEMBER!! And I have spent a good ten days of it not feeling well at all. I had another cold for a week, and then the past few days I've just been feeling sick to my stomach and have barely eaten anything at all. I was hungry today though, which is good, so I think I'm doing much better. Way better than my new housemate who had an allergic reaction to our Thai food yesterday. I felt SO bad for her. Luckily Cal and I are First Aid and CPR certified, though, so you know. We were ready with our invisible epipens.

Sickness was really NOT good for NaNo. I mean, I've actually stayed on target pretty much every day except one, and made that one up. And the words aren't struggling to get on the page, it's me having the willpower to use up my free time to write. If I just sat down and did write or die like three times it wouldn't be so tough. But I'm not, even though I should. And I've just been exhausting myself again with all of this like a lame seven tentacled octopus.

I'm going to try to get ahead this weekend. I didn't end up going to a write-in that I wanted to go to on Saturday because I still felt kind of down in the dumps, but THIS Saturday there's one at South Bank, so I really super duperly want to go. Going to try, anyway. Maybe meet Cal for a swim after he gets off work.

Have to get ahead so that I can have a non-NaNo-wedding-weekend. Cause Cal already had his birthday NaNoed on. (He's in for a rough life, this kid, I'm telling you.)

Book Blogging/Vlogging

I really want to get back into book blogging and possibly book vlogging. I mean, now that I'm reading roughly a book a week again, I want to record exactly what I'm reading and what I thought of it. So this is my promise to myself to do just that.

(Because I really need to do SOMEthing productive with my time!)

Nostalgia

I am feeling a bit nostalgic for childhood. Well, maybe just for autumn. No, childhood autumn. When we went on field trips to nearby farms to get pumpkins. When we raked up gold and red leaves and jumped into wet piles. When the skies were cloudy and the air was cold. Jeans and sweatshirt days, curled up with a book and watching misty rain gather in drops on the windows, smelling the cinnamon rolls baking in the oven. Drawing faces on pumpkins with permanent marker and watching my dad cut them out to our exact specifications. Squishing into the pumpkin goop and sorting goop from seeds. Laying the seeds out all nicely on a tray and covering them in salt. Crunching on them while watching Hocus Pocus. Trying to figure out how the heck one costume or another was going to fit over a snowsuit. Setting up home base on Halloween evening at my uncle's house and going out with my older cousins, feeling cool because we didn't need our parents around. Getting dimes from the lady down the road, and giant candy bars from the funeral home.

So I guess, on reflection, THAT might be why I'm so blah lately. With the seasons swapped, it doesn't feel at all like October should, and more to the point, Halloween simply isn't a thing that's routinely done. Apparently they had "Halloween pumpkins" (they call squash "pumpkin" it's weird) available at the supermarket for the first time last year. They have them there again, but it's going to be 90 the next two days, and I think that would leave the pumpkin a rotting mess on my doorstep. It's too warm for jeans or sweatshirts, there won't be many, if any, children knocking at my door for candy, no real excuse to get dressed up... Granted, the trees ARE a bit confused and have been dropping brown leaves like crazy, but they aren't as pretty.

In which case, my solution for the coming Octobers is this: take this country by storm. Halloween like no one has Halloweened before. I'm thinking Halloween party bash, with apple cider and cinnamon and pumpkin seeds and pumpkin-flavored things and candy and costumes and... I mean, it'll be more fun when I have kids to entertain. BUT STILL.

Oh, and, uh... I don't mean for there to be any spoilers, but a LITTLE BIRDIE told me that Tinker Day is on Sunday. In Australia, anyway. ;)

It fits!

Thought I would post a quick update on how things are going in regards to wedding stuff!!

1) My dress arrived. It fits! I'm doing a bit of alteration to it, which I knew I would be doing before it got here. It has this halter that ties in the back, but it's AGES long, and I don't really like the look of it. I'm either going to cut off bits OR I experimented with criss-crossing it over my chest and tying it at the back, which looks better, I think. We don't have a full length mirror so it's a bit difficult to say. Might get a full length mirror soon, I have lived too long without one!

2) I bought these shoes forever ago to wear. Cal calls them "sand shoes." Not sure exactly what I'd call them... but they're not formal footwear, by any means. I think they look quirky with the dress. Again, kind of want a full length mirror to get the whole picture (actually taking a photo doesn't get me as up close as I want). Anyway. That's a thing.

3) In case I didn't mention it, Cal's wearing suspenders for our photos. We're going to look awesome!

4) Full photo session payment and full celebrant payment are both IN!

5) We went to New Farm Park on Sunday. It's a bit out of our way, but we're definitely in love. The bench area was perfect, there's another area with sort of arches and vines trailing up them with flowers that's beautiful, and it's right on the river and there's this cool place on the rocks I want pictures near... but most importantly, my friends, is the playground. Yes, the playground. There is a stone dragon in a sandpit with hatched eggs around it. Not even joking. That is more perfect than anything ever for us.

6) We also got suitcases! We got a medium sized one that's a dark brown with a reddish undertone, and a smaller one that's more of a really dark brown. They look slightly worn and the clasps are a bit rusty. Perfect!

Aaaand... I think that's it. Not sure if we'll have the actual wedding at New Farm or... yeah I mean, maybe we will. There were some secluded areas. And we wanted to go into the city anyway after. I'm just SO nervous about getting my dress dirty! It is SO WHITE. I am going to spill something on it, just you wait. Maybe I'll wear something else to the actual wedding and save this for the pictures (clearly the more important thing.) ;)

BIG NEWS!

So I haven't been blogging lately because I've been doing a lot of stuff that's been keeping me busy, but up until today, it was stuff that I didn't really want to talk about until I'd told some specific people. That is, my parents and Erin. (I'm not saying that the rest of you aren't as important, but you know, parents and Heterosexual Life Partner, they rank up there.)

Here it is: Cal and I are getting married!

"Ummm... yeah?" I hear you say. "That IS what an engagement means."

Well, yes, but we're getting married sooner rather than later. Like, quite soon. Like, November 24 soon.

Basically, we're eloping. That means it's going to be us and a celebrant and the required two witnesses, and hopefully it takes all of five minutes. You see, we were thinking: much as I like planning a wedding and thinking about all the details and whatnot, I DON'T like being the center of attention. The thought of having so many eyes on me while I declare my love for someone terrifies me, and for us (I'm not saying for EVERYONE) it just seems so insincere, because it's just NOT the way we've done things so far. We hid the fact that we were in a relationship from most people up until we actually met in person, and then hid the fact that we were engaged for like two years (oh, um, I actually got engaged in June 2009...) We're just kind of private, and we prefer to keep it that way.

Plus there are other factors. Like the guest list, for instance. It would make more sense to have the wedding over in the States since Cal doesn't really care about much of his family being there. But even his immediate family probably wouldn't be able to attend (at least, I wouldn't want to take a one year old and a four year old, however well behaved, on a 14 hour flight across the Pacific--and that being only half the journey!). But if we had it here, half of my family wouldn't be attending either (some sort of fall out between my mom and dad's side of the family, which I'm "too young to know about"). Which basically means it would be my immediate family, my mom's side (NOT very big), and however many Hollins ladies could make it up to Michigan.

And it's so FREAKING EXPENSIVE to have a "real" wedding! The dress, the food, the cake, the venue... All for one night. Granted, one night full of memories, but still. So we have a different plan.

We chose the 24th of November because that's our current anniversary. We'll be getting married on our seventh anniversary (good luck, right?). It'll be in the morning, quite a short ceremony, possibly at Cal's uni (very pretty area!) or New Farm Park (more on that later). Our witnesses will be Cal's friend Chris and probably one of our new housemates. After, Cal and I will grab lunch somewhere and possibly go to a cupcake shop to get a "cake eating" picture. I DID buy a white knee-length dress for $102. Hasn't gotten here yet-- hopefully it fits!

Then on December 16 we're getting some professional photos taken by Paper Fox Studio, probably at New Farm Park. She has some brilliant photos that she's done there, and we fell in love with the bench area (http://paperfoxstudio.com/blog/portraits/laura-evan-new-farm-park-powerhouse-engagement-shoot/). Haven't been there in person yet -- we're going on Sunday. Also on Sunday we're heading out to pick up some old-style suitcases which we'll be using in the shoot. I'm also thinking about getting a copy of The Amber Spyglass in hardcover, as it's a book we bonded over and continue to love(/hate).

Planning on making a montage of the photos with a song and possibly snippet of video that will be taken of the ceremony. Also possibly making postcards out of one of the photos and sending it out to relatives before changing my name on Facebook and whatnot.

BUT THEN, we're going to Europe. As our honeymoon. A late honeymoon, I'll grant you, but a lengthy, memory-filled, Europey honeymoon that we'll enjoy a whole lot more than chatting up fourth cousins at a reception with food we probably don't like. We're going to use any money we WOULD be spending on a wedding and using it for Europe. A valid use, I think. But even more importantly than that, we're planning on stopping by the US before/after Europe and perhaps we can have some sort of party then!

Anyway. I hope no one feels left out or anything. :( I know weddings are a thing people look forward to, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it's just not our style. We're going to be much, much, much happier doing this.

Oh, and P.S.! I would appreciate it if this wasn't shouted about or anything. I wanted to let my close friends know, but other relatives and stuff on Facebook don't need to know just now. (Actually, I kind of just want to see the comments when my relationship status and name change suddenly on Facebook. It's going to be HILARIOUS.)

The Travel Bug

I recently met up with a girl who seemed to have been everywhere. She'd been travelling all over, having been granted excellent opportunities like an internship that had her going from army base to army base working with children. Just talking with her gave me The Itch again. The need to be somewhere else, doing something else.

Don't get me wrong. I love it here. I love living with Cal and I love this city. But I always want so much more!

I'm sure I've written/talked/vlogged about this before, but Cal and I are planning this massive trip to Europe. Like, a month or two in Europe. We're planning on going in the December/January time frame, either 2013 or 2014 or 2015. Specific, I know.

We're trying to figure out WHERE exactly we want to go, because a month or two of solid traveling won't put us anywhere near covering the whole of Europe unless we wanted to just ride through each country and wave at the landmarks as we passed. So if anyone has any suggestions as to the BEST PLACES EVER to go, please let us know.

So far, our top priorities are these:

1. Norway. Will probably stick to Oslo/Trondheim. (Would also love to get up to Svalbard.)
     -->See Northern Lights.
     -->Touch a glacier.

2.Scottish Highlands. Want to see more castles and sink myself in some Scottish mythology.

3. Paris. But only for a few days. I feel like Paris is a "go-to" city. You probably shouldn't do a tour of Europe without going to Paris, you know? But neither of us are incredibly interested, save for eating some good food and taking pictures with the Eiffel Tower. Of course, that could all change.

4. Italy. Will probably land in Rome, stay for as long as it takes to cover everything, then head up to Florence for a bit, then Venice. (There's more we want to do in Italy, but we're trying to prioritize!) I've already been to Venice but Cal hasn't, and I didn't see as much as I wanted to! Loved it there.

5. Germany, Austria, Netherlands. Okay, so my number one goal is to go to Neuschwenstein Castle--that is, THE ideal fairy tale castle. Since we're going in winter, I bet it's going to be gorgeous. But there's plenty of history in this area too, and I'd love to soak it all in. Plus, Cal's grandfather came over from the Netherlands, so it will be fun for him to visit. These three will probably be our main event, and we'll be spending the most time here.

There are plenty of other places I want to go, too. Spain, Gibraltar, Belgium, Prague, Ireland... and maybe we will have time for some of these things, but we're trying to keep it small now, and when we start planning our day-to-day itinerary we might be able to fit a few more things in. I'll just be over here, day dreaming. It's been good for us to have a goal like this, as it encourages us to save money. But still. I want to be there NOW.

If anyone has any must-see attractions in any of our top 5, or think a favorite place should be added to that top 5, please leave a comment! We're starting a preliminary checklist and would love to do some things other people have tried.

Things learned!

First of all, skin update: I've been using my stupid chemically stuff the derm gave me for a few days, and (surprise) no improvement. I was crazy oily-looking today though (sweating a lot, it was HOT!). Decided to scrub my face with Epsom salt (basically, put some Epsom salt in palm, wet it in the shower, scrub). I left it for a minute but it burned a bit so I rinsed it off. Now my face feels brilliantly soft and like, perfect. Not dry, not oily, perfect. Hasn't really brought down any of the pimples on my face, but whatevs.

ANYWAY. Today, people started packing. Yes, packing. They're leaving by the 26th! That's now FOUR DAYS away. I hope they leave early. Actually, I hope that when we get back from Ada's party tomorrow, they're just gone. Gone. Never have to deal with them again. (They deleted us from Facebook, so I blocked both of them so I don't even ever have to kind of think about them again.) Things have escalated rather quickly, I can't remember if I wrote about it, but I'll have a massive story to tell next week when we talk.

The landlord also came over, and we are getting all of our bond back (which is cray surprising, given that Certain Individuals have practically punched holes through the floor by putting his chair down too hard all the time).

And even better, rent has gone DOWN. This is unheard of. It's cray. It's now $380 per week, which is only $95/person per week. It's nuts. We'll never have this good of a deal on a house again.

So this is good news, right, but I've been down in the dumps today because I'm just so stressed out by the Certain Individuals and the situation they're creating, worthy, I found today, of Taylor Swift's "Story of Us" (which, if you are unfamiliar, "looks a lot like a tragedy now"). I haven't been this stressed out since first year (well, maybe I take that back, end of Junior year might have given that a run for its money, but it was much more brief than this current lengthy horribleness).

Other than secluding myself in my room today, I have been making a huge amount of enquiries regarding certain things which I need to talk to someone about before writing about it here. But can I just say, if someone SAYS "contact me by e-mail" WHY would you then proceed to contact them by phone (especially the messages that said "I've sent you an e-mail...") What.

Anyway. Anyway. I'm gonna post a video soon, a mash-up of random clips I took over the past few weeks, because something new needs to go up there!

!!!

THEY'RE LEAVING BEFORE THE 26TH! THEY'RE LEAVING BEFORE THE 26TH!! THAT IS FIVE DAYS OR POSSIBLY LESS!!

WORDS CAN'T EVEN.

Fruit Face Update + General Skin Woes

While Hanging Out in Google, Emily One brought up the fact that I've been rubbing fruit on my face. I haven't been doing it as regularly as I ought to, so I thought I would start a little update thing here and it might encourage me to keep track of what actually works/doesn't work in regard to my skin care. So here goes.

First off, I wanted to say that before going to school, I had practically no acne whatsoever. A bit on my chin and forehead, but that was legit it. So I just wanted to throw that out there and also ask if anyone else noticed a remarkable turn for the worse after starting school. Acne spread to cheeks, back, and chest for me about a month into first year. I thought I could blame the food, but being off it for so long, I'm not sure that flies.

Anyway, I put off dermatology appointments for ages, and eventually went last August, so I've been on the same routine for a year now (because no matter how I tell him it's not making any difference, he doesn't believe me). Though, SINCE going to him I HAVE had miraculous one-week time frames where my skin has been almost flawless (interestingly enough, always lining up with when I see him). Two such times I remember are right before graduation, and right before Christmas break.

Which kind of calls into question my other "this must be why I'm breaking out" reason: stress. I thought for sure stress was a major factor, but trying to finish things like my history thesis before Christmas break (along with other final projects) was quite a stressful thing. And while Senior Week might have been a didn't-have-to-do-anything blast, the prospect of graduation (synonymous with Separation) was pretty gosh-darned stressful too.

So if it's not necessarily food (I don't have The Healthiest diet, but I'm getting in so many more fruits and vegetables than I ever did at Moody--plus I've been taking Cod Liver Oil as a Vitamin A supplement for the past six weeks), stress, oil buildup or whatever topical problem, or hormonal even (on "the best thing" for that too), WHAT THE HECK IS IT? And why has it gotten SO BAD in the last few weeks, and why was it sparkling a week before that? What the heck?

Anyway, as for the FRUIT: I really need to do this more. I was doing quite well, actually, for a while there, but I need to switch my schedule around a bit to take the time to wash fruit off my face in the morning or something, which is when I'm typically eating it (also at lunch, but not really wanting to wash it off at work!).

On Saturday, before talking to you guys, I did a banana mask. This consisted of half a banana, a tablespoon of honey, a small handful of oats, and a squeeze of lemon juice. Mush it all together and rub it on your face, leave for fifteen minutes and rinse off with lukewarm water.

Results: my face felt fantastic for two days, and I noticed some difference. Possibly caused smaller pores which contributed to the look, or something? Plus I did have a few of those big red bumps that definitely died down almost immediately after using it. And the lemon juice in there is meant to lighten acne scars, which is also a huge problem for me because I look at my face and I'm like "I am SO broken out" but really a lot of it is old scars that make my face blotchy because I'm so pale. Anyway, that was quite nice, I felt loads more confident about my appearance after that.

But after two days, it was like my face just exploded. They don't recommend masks like that for daily use, so it's like, what. What do you even do.

ANYWAY. Figured I'd update on this since it's something I've been obsessing over and will probably continue to obsess over when I'm like 103 and still have acne. (bit bitter right now, can you tell?)

What is friendship?

This isn't really an attempt to be deep and philosophical, more just casual wondering--casual wondering about how friendship might not be defined some of the same general principles for everyone. This rather provoking thought has been borne out of some recent conflict which perhaps we can talk about at our next shindig.

For me, it seems that friendship is created out of mutual respect between two people. Doesn't that seem like it would be the very baseline? Mutual respect. That means if I have a friend, I respect you, and you respect me.

Respect things like personality, habits, history, choices.

And when things AREN'T respected -- say, I respect you, but you DON'T respect me, I would say that's when things start falling apart. Wouldn't you? I mean, there are millions of other factors, too. But for me, respect is the main one. And surely, SURELY a person can see that they aren't respecting another person. When that person is getting upset. Or perhaps when a person is requesting a compromise and you aren't giving it to them, leaning instead toward your own selfish desires.

Sometimes I get a bit paranoid that I don't have friends here. It's sort of like high school all over again, where I wasn't especially close to anyone (shown by the fact that I fell out with all of them the second I went to college.) So sometimes, low blows picking on such a thing DO bother me.

What if I am incapable of making/keeping friends? What if there's some part of me that just pushes people away?

Part of that is that I know I can be a tough person to be around sometimes. I keep everything bottled up inside--every frustration, bit of stress, irritation--and unleash it upon people I like. Because around people I don't like, I don't feel comfortable doing such a thing. And around people I do like, I DO feel comfortable showing more emotion. With the result that I can be moody and snappish and appear to be quite angry WITH a person when really I'm quite angry at a lot of other things.

So, then, what if I DO push people away?

But when I start thinking of that, I also start thinking about that college and all those people I met. And still talk to. Who still want to talk to me. Who never judged (not really), who never questioned my choices, who never made a face at the thought of walking up a mountain in a tutu. People who share too many inside jokes, who have too much fun laughing together, who come up with the most random stuff to do and don't think twice about doing it, who have been there through smiles and tears...

And when I think about that, HA I say to all those who would deal low blows.

HA.

You have NO idea who stands behind me, and if you did, you'd be running.

They're armed with glitter and duct tape. So help you if you cross them.

The Comeback

This morning, Cal and I woke up around 7. As we do, since we're old and our weekdays sort of flow into our weekends nowadays, and we just get up at the same time every day. Because we're old.

Anyway, we had a few things to do today: clean floors (since no one else ever does it), do some dishes, a couple loads of laundry, and bring in a table from outside which had been painting and was drying overnight.

The point is, being the considerate housemates we are, we waited almost four hours to do any of these things. Around 11 we brought in the table. The only noise we were making was a bit of conversation in our normal voices (that is, not shouting like Some People's Normal Volume). So we get the table in, and out stumble Certain People (again, around 11!) blinking blearily and looking grumpy, asking what we were doing.

"We just brought the table in," Cal said.

"Yeah. We heard that," Certain Someone said. (In an extremely condescending tone.)

Now, let me stop there and say that yes, 11 might be a bit early for some people. I slept in 'til 11 on many occasions while in school. (Heck, I slept in 'til 3 once after a NaNo get-together.) But at 11, I really don't think it should be an Expectation that everyone is completely quiet. Quite frankly, I doubt it was our conversation that did the waking and more the sun casting its bright and beautiful rays upon some self-centered little cheeks.

I might sound a bit harsh, but this is pent-up frustration about all those times I was woken up at, say, midnight--a perfectly reasonable time to be asleep, I should think, given Cal needs to wake up before 6 and I get up at 7--or that Certain Party that caused my respect for Certain People to spiral down, down, down to the bottom of the great blue sea, sea, sea. And yet when such instances happen, WE were obviously in the wrong for being in bed to early. But when we wake THEM up, WE are also obviously in the wrong for making too much noise. Great logic, that, right? Like I said, self-centered cheeks.

But this, my friends, is hardly the point of this blog post at all.

This evening, I was reading a book. Thor was crying outside. It is past his dinner time. No, he's not supposed to be outside after his dinner time. However, he had not eaten yet. So Certain Someone comes along and opens the door for him, saying in a rather confused tone, "Oh, Thor, you're outside?" And I was all sitting on the couch with the door in my sight, sort of rolling my eyes. Then Certain Someone has the audacity to walk STRAIGHT INTO OUR ROOM without asking, to look at the window Thor climbs out of, which was open. And at this point I'm raging because of all the rage that has built up over the last few months, combined with the lack of respect for my personal space and personal things, and I'm just like SERIOUSLY?

And THEN she comes out, looking around (obviously for Cal, as They don't ever discuss anything with me, only with him, like I don't exist) and finally said, "Um, is your window open?"

"Yeah," I said, suppressing eye-rolling urge--hadn't you just invaded my bubble to check? "It's fine."

"Oh. Um, is Thor meant to be outside?"

No, you idiot, that's why he's outside and I'm sitting here all not bothered, I wanted to say. Instead, I said, "He's fine."

"Oh, so, shouldn't you close your window?"

Rage building. Rage building a lot. "No, it's fine."

"Because Thor was outside, I just let him in."

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth. "I HEARD THAT."

And you could just TELL my tone was at its deadliest, because she looked rather taken aback, but the comeback just went STRAIGHT over her head. Like a bird. Like a plane. Like superman.

And then I took great pleasure in the fact that they missed their bus. (Two weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks.)

What would you name a press?

I mentioned in my last post how I think I'd like to start a publishing company (well, small press--publishing company sounds far too grand!). I've been looking into it more over the past few days, and while it looks like it's going to be a TON of work (obviously) and a TON of money to start up, I'm still really keen on the idea. I don't think I'll be able to properly start for a few years, planning things in my downtime has come as a fun sort of relief from boredom.

(Again, if anyone's interested in joining, there will be basically no money in it at all, but could totally use help. Particularly if you're good with the designing of covers, because that's something in which I have zero experience.)

The point is, I might be totally crazy, this might be a passing phase that will vanish in a week or two, but right now I desperately want a name for this wispy idea in my head. I can't seem to come up with anything that sounds quite right.

As I said before, this would be a press for sort of more traditional-type girl-power fantasy (think Pierce). The kind of fantasy I love and the kind of fantasy I'm not seeing so much on shelves, as it's being covered in vampires and apocalypses (which isn't necessarily bad, but I miss going to the shelves and finding a billion things I like!)

When thinking about names, Griffin immediately popped into my head of course--but besides feeling a bit like I shouldn't use it for magazine-type reasons, just "Griffin Press" sounded a bit boring to me. Then I was like, "Phoenix Press?" "Sphinx Press?" "Castle Press?"

It was all so... solid, or something. You know? I want something more whimsical and dreamy that captures the idea of what the press is about. My creative juices don't seem to be flowing, just as they get all blocked up when it comes to titling things (you know, I could create a whole job out of that too--Book Titling. Sign up now!). I was hoping some of you might have some ideas of what to name such a creation as this New Idea Of Emily's. If you come up with any cool ideas that you don't mind me using, please let me know!

P.S. It's also difficult to come up with names that aren't already things. I was tossing ideas around and thought "Ink Pot Publishing" sounded kind of cool, but a quick google search told me that was already a thing. I'm gonna have to think outside the box for this one.

Revelation

I had a Revelation. A rather spectacular one, I might add.

As I was floundering around last night, trying to find the meaning of life (that is, wondering what the heck I was going to do with mine long-term), I tried to think of what would make me happiest in the long run. What do I really enjoy doing?

The answer to that question is obviously, "write." However, I'm not going to make any money doing that (statistically) so I need to find something to occupy my time. The answer to "occupy time" would be to "get a real job." Could do office work or something, but that's just so many hours of the week dedicated to something that I'm not passionate about, with no guarantee that I'd be writing anyway (if the last few months are any indication).

So. What else do I like doing? The answer to that is reading. Also, editing. Thus: publishing company. But if you see a few posts below where I mention how I don't want to work for a place that seems to be in it for the money more than anything else, and how I don't want to move to a giant city where publishing takes place, well, you'll see that's not exactly the route for me.

So if I can't do writing, and I can't do publishing, WHAT would I do?

I've always thought it would be ideal to work from home and be my own boss. I've thought this since childhood. You know, with my "don't tell me what to do" complex, it gets a little hard being in someone's employ. I could work from home, take vacations when I wanted to, hang out with my kids until they go to school. It seems like the best thing ever, really. But what would my business even BE? You see all these people who can do crafts or like... I don't know. I don't even know.

But then -- here it is -- what if I started my OWN little press? One dedicated to the preservation of more "traditional" (read: Piercey) fantasy for young adults? Meaning, no feeding this vampire-sodden market with all those whiny female "heroines." I obviously wouldn't publish MYSELF, that seems a bit sus to me, but I could totally work with some OTHER people. If you know what I mean.

I don't know, I still have to look into it, obviously. I've read a total of like, two articles on how one might go about doing this. It would take lots of money, so I'd still need a "day job." But with something like this, surely I'd be more dedicated to the cause. With other people depending on me, I wouldn't just say, "Oh, you know, I can do that later." And then never do it.

I would need things, obviously. Like contacts. And a cover design person. And stuff. I don't even know what I'd call it. But I'm going to seriously look into this, guys, even if I don't follow through. I'll be planning things during nap time today. It just seems like it'd be GOOD, you know? Something I can be proud of and happy doing.

WHO WANTS TO HELP?

I want a grown-up house.

A complimentary Ikea catalogue was delivered to our house about a week ago, and it made me realize a very important thing: I want a grown up house. Desperately.

Like, with a bathroom that has matching shower curtains, rugs, and towels. And a bedroom with matching furniture. And a kitchen with matching pots, bowls, and cutlery. And a fancy washing machine that has more buttons than I know what to do with. And like, dark mahogany wood book cases complimenting my leather furniture. Or something.

A house with three bedrooms: ours, a spare, and one I can start decorating as a nursery (browsing Pinterest too much lately).

I want a house that I don't have to share, except with friends I invite over.

And I want to have a library. A massive library with all of my books, plus all of the books I want to read, plus the awesome editions of books I love (full hardcover British versions of HP, plus that version of the His Dark Materials books that spell "His Dark Materials" on the spines when all three are sitting together.)

And that, my friends, is my thought for the day.

YAYAYYAYAYAY!

Part of me feels like I should feel bad for being this unbelievably ecstatic about not having to deal with crap anymore--but then the more sane part of me takes over, and I burst into unstoppable squeeing noises at a pitch only dogs can hear. (Scientifically tested and everything.)

They're moving. They're moving, they're moving, they're moving!

And we didn't even have to start up a conflict about it. Cal was actually a little upset because they hadn't discussed it with us before finding somewhere else, but this way we don't have them and we DO have the house.

This house isn't nearly as great as it could be. There's not a lot of counter space, the counters that ARE there have this awful lip on them that makes it impossible to get rid of crumbs. The floors don't seem to clean properly, the oven doesn't work very well (leaving cookies raw on top and burnt on the bottom), the bathroom is teeny tiny... BUT it's such an awesome location for getting to my work--all I have to do is cross the road, hop on a bus 15 minutes before 9, and get there with minutes to spare. It's also conveniently located to shops via transport and whatnot, so I'm really glad we get to stay here for another few months.

Our current lease runs until mid October, but the new owner would like us to stay until January when he plans to start renovating. (The house is in desperate need of renovation--I bet he makes a killing when he resells it!) My job is also probably ending in January as Alex has been given a place at the local daycare centre, and his parents would like him to be a bit more socialized, understandably.

Anyway, the housing market in January is much better for renting than it is now, as there's lots of changeover during the summer holidays. There aren't many houses up right now that look particularly good for their price and location. Hopefully in January that will change--we'll be looking for something with a bigger kitchen and preferably two bathrooms.

The only thing we need now is new housemates.

I mean, we could be getting a place to ourselves. It is financially possible right now. But when you figure you can get a really tiny apartment for $300 a week, having to share walls and floors and ceilings with other people vs something like this four bedroom house which is $420 a week, it just seems better to do it this way. More space, ideal because Thor can run around outside, and we're saving more money than we would be otherwise. With four people here, as a couple we're only paying $210 a week--pretty good deal.

We're looking on Gumtree, a sort of Craigslist deal, and haven't had any results yet, but we hope to. (Actually, what I hope is to get some of YOU over here to live with me. Not even joking. If you want details contact me. So easy to get a visa.)

But the point is, guys. Guys. This house, right now, is actually going to feel like MY house. Like, a house that I can live in. With Cal. My house. Which I can then welcome others graciously into.

Our plan is this: hopefully get people in before the end of October (if any of you are serious about coming over, though, we'll obviously hold a place for you!). Between People A leaving and People B arriving, we're going to do a massive clean/reorganizing of the house in order to get it to the way I like it. That is, NOT a ton of random crap all on top of the cupboards, furniture where furniture should go, cupboard reorganization.

I would do all of this now as a lot of it is Cal's stuff, but I don't know what is Cal's and what isn't. The reason it's largely unorganized is because he got a ton of things from his sister when she moved away and didn't have me around to tell him where to put them. (I'm kind of awful.) After that, I think I'll feel much more like this is my space. And goshdarnit, I will be having a place at the kitchen table.

I'm a bit worried about our ad as I stressed that we were rather tidy people, but by that I only mean we'd appreciate if someone spills something on the counter to wipe it up after, and not leave random papers and computers and bits and pieces all over the dining table so that there isn't even a place to eat, you know, things that SEEM like common sense when living with people. Apparently not. Like, if it was people I like to live with I wouldn't MIND moving things around because I would feel COMFORTABLE about it because if I'd left something around I wouldn't mind if someone else moved my stuff -- but in this current situation, I don't feel comfortable with that, and I think that's what's bugging me.

Anyway. Anyway. Back to celebrating. Potentially only 25 days left.

Recipes!

I thought I would write this down as I'm thinking about it--and preparing next week's meal plan.

First off, I HATE THINKING ABOUT FOOD.

Secondly, when we only really have one real day to shop (okay, two, but when we have the option to do absolutely nothing on Sunday we take it!) it's kind of necessary to think about a whole week's worth of dinners beforehand. I mean, with shops closing quite early here too, and both of us relying on public transport to get places, it's just not very convenient to pop out for a minute to grab something we might be missing.

So here I sit, hurting my brain trying to think of things to eat.

We're getting a bit bored of our usual fare. We've found recipes we both like that are easy and pretty fast to cook, two very important things when all we want to do when we get home is sit around doing nothing. Anyway, we've been having the same things over and over again, which is all I ever really had at home and school, but it's sort of like... blah. Part of the problem is that some stuff that I do like -- say, tacos -- I don't particularly like here. I like a particular seasoning packet thing that isn't available here. I might ask my mom to send some in the next care package, actually... but I haven't seen a single Mexican-style cheese here either! I guess this is what happens when you live so far from Mexico.

Speaking of, crushed red pepper isn't a thing here either. There's crushed chili pepper, but it tastes different. I'm dying.

Trying to find new recipes is hard, because half of me is like, well, what if I don't like it? Sometimes more importantly, what if I can't find the proper ingredients here? (I find it a little strange that recipe sites are SO completely American-saturated. I guess maybe it shouldn't come as such a big surprise.)

Urgh, and then as I stare at recipe sites I'm like, "This sounds exactly like this thing that's on the list right now." It doesn't seem different. Why is food so hard? Is this why Moody was so horrible all the time? Can't think of anything new, here's some pasta.

I mean, I do like pasta, and it's so so so easy... asked Cal if we could put it on the menu multiple times this week. He said yes. So grateful.

I guess the point of this blog post is to ask, do any of YOU have any tried and true recipes you like? I'm open to hearing about anything (if I don't like something in it, I guarantee Cal will eat it anyway!). Leave your suggestions for your favorite meals and we might incorporate them into our weekly plans.

Fun Fact: our fridge freezes things on its very lowest (er, highest? Whatever's warmer) setting (probably because we never have a TON of stuff in there--we're only two people and things can go bad so fast!), so we can only have things like salad the night after we go shopping, or we'll be chomping on frozen lettuce. And if we let it defrost first, it goes all wilty and soggy and gross. :(

P.S. My nutella addiction is seriously becoming a problem. And on these recipe sites I frequent, all I ever really want to make are the desserts. PROBLEM.

Just around the river bend...

You guys, I think something is wrong with me. In the "probably should see someone about this" way. I legitimately cannot concentrate on anything right now. Not the (extremely well written, very enjoyable) book that I'm reading, not Facebook, not anything. Why?

Because a TV has been set up on the dining table and someone has been gaming on it for the past, I don't know, four hours. Silently, mind. Headphones. Considerate. But I cannot concentrate knowing that there is a presence lurking some ten feet outside this door. Knowing that if I open the door, I will be greeted by the crushing glare of a TV screen and a headphoned silhouette that kind of looks like a shadowy alien.

Something is WRONG with me.

I mean, I think part of it is knowing that the dishes aren't done, either. We have a rotating dishes schedule, and it's alien's turn. Half the dishes are done, but not all. Obviously killing zombies or goblins or whatever was more important than finishing up dishes. I still don't get this. I mean, surely playing a zombie game would be more enjoyable knowing that you didn't have any dishes left to do when you're done?

The point is, the kitchen is RIGHT THERE and any dish-doing severely interferes with my sleeping patterns. I think part of my problem is that I foresee this: dishes done at midnight, an hour into my peaceful slumber, waking me up and then I'll have to take a sleeping pill because it will be like I took a nap and I won't be able to get back to sleep for ages and I'll become dependent on sleeping pills and it'll be like first year all over again and--

But also, the change. The sudden change. Why is there a TV on the kitchen table? I mean, really? There is no logical explanation. The TV lived a very good life in a secluded bedroom where it has been for ages and ages and ages, so why the sudden move? Did rent go up in the bedroom and it had to relocate? Did it get sick of the dust bunnies and try to run away to better accommodation, only to get stuck in the sticky mess of the table cloth and pinned down once again by the avid gamer?

I just don't understand. It would be like me moving my library of books to the kitchen table and saying, they're going to stay here this evening. All that effort to move the books. I mean, even then I would have the excuse of potentially reorganizing said library and needing a place to put them while I sort them. That would be fine. But there is nothing going on with this TV that required a move. The same thing is happening to it as was happening in its own room.

And now it's there. I bet I see the glow from under the door. I bet it lights up the entire room while I'm trying to sleep.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

I think I've gone around the river bend, down the waterfall, through the tunnel and ALL THE WAY to grandma's house.

This area does not need a second TV is the thing. There is already one there. Why isn't that one being used? I mean, that one's more annoying as it's even closer than The Intruder and I think comes without the possibility of headphones and oh god you guys I just heard clicking. Clickclickclickclickclick. Constant tapping. Like an owl at the window, only without the potential of carrying a Hogwarts letter. Which means instead of being exciting, it's actually one of the most annoying things I could hear right now. Like the slow drip drip of water torture. The old kind, not this fancy boarding deal...

Only I don't want to go say GO AWAY because what argument do I have other than that I'm probably having something like a psychotic breakdown? This doesn't actually matter in the grand scheme of things. Unless The Intruder thinks it can take root on the kitchen table and I have to stare at the wirey back of it EVERY SINGLE MORNING for practically the REST OF MY LIFE while I'm eating my whole-grain breakfast cereals . Then it'll be like crunch, crunch, ohgodTheIntruderisstillhere, crunch, why, crunch, cry. And then when I get back from work it'll be like, "Why, HELLO there, I'm a black abyss of DOOM unless I'm showing some annoying rainbow colored shooter game."

I just don't really want to discourage this behavior because it's some of the most respectful that I've seen so far, you know, with the no-noise, it's just... what is the gosh darned POINT of doing this? If I could see any logic, any reason behind such a move I think I would be okay.

AND THE DISHES AREN'T DONE.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

I'm not gonna make it.

A Place at the Kitchen Table

Cal thinks I'm a bit weird when I talk about this, so I wanted other opinions.

You guys have a "place" at your kitchen table, right? That chair that you always sit in. Your spot. I thought everyone did. At home, my family and I always had specific chairs we went to at the table. When we moved and had a different table, my brother and I spent a good amount of time wandering around it, debating which one would be best.

Okay, so maybe the debating thing was weird -- but at Hollins, it was the same. At the apartment. We always sat in the same chair, did you notice? Heck, in Moody we always tried to sit at the same table.

We had a Place that we could call our own. That little spot we knew was ours. I thought this was a normal thing. I remember teachers/professors telling us we were creatures of habit, and given the opportunity we'd sit at the same place we had the year before. (Demonstrated in Trig/Precalc and AP Calculus--the teacher let us pick our seats, and being from a small town the two classes had (basically) the same people in it, and we all sat in the exact same spot second year.)

Therefore, you can probably imagine my consternation when I realized that this is not what's done here, and it's bothering me. It is amazing how much this is bothering me.

First of all, the chairs are never pushed in--that's how you know, after a long day away, that they have been used. All four chairs are ALWAYS pushed out. These people use the chairs like they use the rest of the house--with no respect for anyone else living there. I don't know why they wouldn't just go for the nearest pulled-out chair and sit down. No. They have to go for the other, not-pulled out chairs. The ones I mentally claimed for Cal and myself. I try to sit there as often as I can. For breakfast and whatnot. When no one's awake. We brought up the fact that it was bothering me briefly, and got weird looks.

It's just--I DO NOT HAVE A PLACE AT THE KITCHEN TABLE. I want to be able to say, hey, look, I have a place in this house. But the kitchen table seems to be representing our lives, here. I don't have a place there and it feels like I don't have a place in the house. Like I've been squashed in with all of my stuff but don't really belong here. It's awful, I don't like it, and sometimes I just sort of want to push them out of a chair and say "That's mine!" like some sort of kindergartner or something.

Am I overreacting? Is this the stupidest thing to be talking about right now?

I just don't feel comfortable here. At all. As I type this, my stomach is growling because I don't want to go to the kitchen and be alone with them.

Quite frankly, it's like I don't exist. That's the amount of respect I feel like I'm getting. I can't remember if I've posted this in the blog or just told Erin, but here's the way I deal with people: upon meeting them, they have my respect. They don't need to earn it. I like to think of everyone as awesome human beings. Innocent until proven guilty.

Then, when they've done something to get that respect taken away--say, not being respectful of my space--it's gone pretty much forever and they're never getting it back. Harsh? Maybe. But they had a chance and lost it.

So right now, I feel like I've "lost" my chance with them, if that makes since. Like I've done something horrible, because they're treating me the way I would be treating them if I was a little more immature and they'd lost my respect (which, quite frankly, they have). Last week I was chased out of the house by some video on someone's computer turned up to full volume right outside my door (turned up to full volume so that it could be heard over the video game played down the hall, also turned up to full volume). Taking refuge in the library, I just wanted to beat my head against a wall.

In answer to any questions, yes, we are planning on moving. It's just that our lease is up in October, so we can't yet.

It's like any discussion about anything just goes over heads too. I don't even know. I hate it, I hate it here, I want to live with Cal all by ourselves in some nice little one bedroom house that I can decorate with ideas from pinterest. And goshdarnit, I'd have a place at that kitchen table. Might even write my name on it with glitter.

Of course, Cal and I probably aren't going to get that any time soon, since we want to save money more than we want to protect our sanity. I just need to keep thinking: Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe. It's all to go to Europe.

...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

The World is Ruled by Money

Right, so, I was trying to figure out my life again. You know, long term. Because I'm quite enjoying this job as a nanny, but as it stands now he has a place open for him at the daycare centre in January (which is around the time the position was going to end, anyway). I probably need to be making a bit more money then too, as Cal might not be able to keep his job while doing his Graduate Diploma in Education. Anyway.

We've also been discussing where we want to live again. Here is what we know:

1) I absolutely love this city. It's city, but it's suburb too--it's not like London, where everything is so incredibly crowded and you feel like you need to put a lock on your purse just to get on the tube. There's diversity and lots of stuff to do with pretty great public transport, so everything's at your fingertips. But the people are so much friendlier than, say, London. People talk on public transport. And smile.

2) My friends and family aren't here. For family, this is largely in regards to when we have children (but we want to have everything sorted by then--I'd rather not move countries with a toddler in tow!). Cal pointed out that I'm probably going to want family around when we have kids, and I think he's right. He's not that close to his family, and despite me quite liking his siblings, I do want my children to know their grandparents.

3) But that brings us to another dilemma: I don't want to live in Michigan. Southern Michigan isn't that great, the UP has more empty space than not, and Northern Michigan is just... Well. I don't want to be stuck there. Again. Suffocating. Plus, I want my kids to have more interactions with people who are NOT white protestants, thank you very much. So, no Michigan, no family too close by. Yeah, probably more frequent visits, but how much more is "more frequent?"

4) If we didn't live in Michigan, where would we live? My next thought was east coast, because so many of you people reading this live over there. I want my pocket of friends back, close enough for a visit maybe once a month or so (or you know, more.) But then what kind of job would I take on? What do I want to do with my life?

5) Which brings us to the title of this post. The obvious choice for me would be New York, where all the publishing jobs are. I would still quite like to do publishing (more on that below), but I'm not sure anymore if I could live in New York. I really didn't like living in London and feeling so crowded all the time. Brisbane doesn't feel that way at all, which is partially what I love about it. Certain people tell me New York is quite similar to London. I'd have to visit first to be certain, of course, but right now my heart's saying no. Which pretty much means no publishing jobs, right?

Back to the title: THE WORLD IS RULED BY MONEY. Upon realizing this, I realized what was making me hesitate in regards to publishing. Publishing is all about making money. Obviously. But... because I'm so passionate about what I read, I'm not sure if I want to go into the business of "reading for money." You know? Things are getting published that don't deserve it, but they're making a ton of money (coughFiftyShadescough). Now, this isn't just sour grapes about my own manuscript not being taken up. I'm not JK or Tammy or someone. But every person I call a friend is way better than that author, and none of us are published.

I don't want to be in it for the money. I want to be in it for the quality and the interesting and still make money. In my head, the world is ideal. In reality, it is not.

So if you were keeping track, I a) don't know where to live, and b) don't know what I want to do with my life. Still. Childcare doesn't pay THAT much in the long run. Not if you're thinking about having at least two kids and enough money to travel frequently. I hate thinking.

6) I just thought about ways to save money. We could relocate to the UK. Now, I didn't like living in London, but living somewhere like Inverness or something wouldn't be so bad. UK has bonus points for being closer to the US (and half the cost of getting there) as well as being close to Europe for holiday excursions. A bit of research tells me they take on teachers and their spouses, so once Cal's all qualified it would potentially be feasible.

It's just, there's an entire WORLD out there, you guys. I haven't seen enough of it. I have to spend my time making money in order to travel, and then have no real time to do any traveling because I have to have a job where I can make money. Five years from now I want to be in the process of starting a family, because I don't want to be an older parent and I definitely want kids. But once you have kids, how impossible is it to travel? Because now you have kids who don't want to go to boring old ruins and cry in planes and have to go down for a nap at certain times. Plus you need a job to feed them, and a job takes  up time, time you won't be able to travel...

In summary: I don't know what I want to do with my life, or maybe I do, and it's just that it's impossible to achieve given the Earth's current circumference.

If Pangaea could just reform, or something, I could live here and be close to family, friends, and places I want to visit. I'd still have the "what' to work out, but I'd be quite comfortable with the "where."

The art of finding friends when you've Gone Places

Right, so, I posted weeks ago about not being able to find friends very easily. It's just not a simple task when, like me, going to bars and clubs and whatnot just isn't what you do. I mean, I suppose I COULD go there, but the chances of me finding people who also don't like going to bars AT a bar seems kind of slim, don't you think?

Where have I met my friends, I asked myself. The answer: school and the internet. Since I'm not longer in school, I turned to the internet.

GUESS WHAT. There are "friendship dating" sites. That's right. Where you sign up to meet people compatible with you--but just as friends. I signed up with Girlfriend Social, a site for women only who probably "is in a 'M4' category - Moved, Married, Motherhood - or you simply are looking for More Friends to be part of your girlfriend circles of friendship."

Well, I'm certainly in the "moved" category. Moved far, far away. Over most of a continent and a giant ocean.

Anyway, here again I ran into some trouble in regards to my ejection from the Bubble. While attempting to explain who I was in "about me" I kept thinking about who I am as a friend, since you know, I'm trying to get some friends. And who I wanted in a friend, too. The answer is "What Can Be Found In The Bubble." You know what I'm saying? I'm the friend who will put on her bathing suit and run around the soccer field in the rain with dinner rush hour looking down at us from the dining hall. I'm the friend who doesn't mind skipping through the parking lot of Walmart in the evening. And I want friends who will hike up a mountain in a fairy costume and sing song parodies and perform skits with me. I want friends who will sing the Game of Thrones song at the top of their lungs in the middle of a professional building.

But there's something in the back of my mind that warns me I'm not in the Bubble anymore: I'd probably get some weird looks if I ran around a soccer field in my bathing suit while it was raining, and I know I'm going to get a couple of stairs hiking up Mt. Cootha in a fairy costume this October.

The point is, I want someone who WON'T care that we're getting stared at and WON'T even think twice about it and WILL bomb my house with a few hundred banana peels with drawn-on faces on my birthday.

And from the start, too. I don't know how to do this "get to know people before showing your weirdness" thing. Surely the weird will scare them off? I'm not even that comfortable with the people I live with yet. It feels like I'll be judged, which doesn't matter from random passersby, but when it's people who I want to like me, I tend to hold back.

Why was it so easy in the Bubble to just let go?

Sisterhood. Gosh darned sisterhood. I need a pocket of Sisters to come over this way. Seriously, there's a futon here with your name on it.

I'll see what comes from the site. Right now I'm seeing lots of people who like to party in my search. I could give it a try, but the party held here was such an uncomfortable, disastrous experience that I don't really have a wish to repeat it any time soon. Seriously, who has a party without a Disney Movie? Does. Not. Compute.

Who knows? Maybe I'll find someone worthy of Bubbleness. Do you think that's possible? An honorary Sister? Do those exist? Anyone have any luck finding them? Because there are over two million people in this city and I haven't found one yet.

Maybe Cal and I should look for couples, or something. Double dates. I don't even know.

Anyway. Just over here, moping a bit. Blah.

Long Live and a few other things.

I realized today how much I miss everyone in the US. And by everyone, I mostly mean all of you people reading this. I talk to my family just about every week, but it was you guys who I actually spent every minute of the last four years with, and I miss you all terribly!

This was brought home today by the fact that Cal has a friend over and they're playing video games, which is all well and good, but it makes me want to go out and conquer some stuff. With you guys. Frolicking through the fields and ducking when we see a car, hopping over the creek and getting a flip-flop full of mud (or finding a jaw!), running around the soccer field in the rain--it's the kind of stuff you need to do with a really good friend.

It's not that there aren't opportunities to make friends here. Okay, actually, no, it is. It is that. How do real-life adult people make new friends if they don't have school to do it for them? I have come up with the following ways:

1) At a bar. This seems to be a logical explanation for where people meet, especially at our age. But it just seems like the kind of people I'm going to want to hang out with I'm not GOING to find at a bar. Am I right? I mean, there are just so many creepy people who end up in bars. It's the kind of place I'd want to go WITH a giant group of friends. How could you tell the difference between the creepers and the people who are being friendly?

2) Your apartment neighbors. A la Friends. But we live in a house. And my housemates are very nice, but the connection I had with you guys simply isn't there. And they're not so into conquering.

3) Play Dates. I mean, I am going to play group as a nanny, which is actually pretty fun. The adults don't get to interact all that much, but the few people I met were very nice. They were just all roughly a decade older than I am. Which isn't horrible, but you know, we probably wouldn't be hanging out or anything. What I need is another child with a nanny to join up. I bet another nanny and I could bond. Maybe I'll scour a park next time we go, see if there are any there...

4) NaNo meet-ups. I would definitely meet some people there who I would like, I'm sure. Cal actually suggested this when I brought up how much I missed hanging out with people. Brisbane actually does have a very lively NaNo population. I'm on their FB page. I'm kind of waiting for a meet-up day when Cal and I can both go. I'm so nervous about it!

Actually, I did get an e-mail from another American who's also over here, living with her husband. I'm not sure how old she is or really what she's like. She found me on Gumtree and we've just e-mailed back and forth a couple of times. I'd like to meet her since I've never met someone who did the long distance thing US-Australia before!

So I guess there are opportunities. But how in the WORLD do I find someone willing to be as weird as all of you? There is absolutely NO replacement. Not that I'm trying to find one. But I just feel like no one even going to come close! Anyone else having this problem?

Anyway, off that topic: a few other notes. Firstly, I do have some video I need to put up but I haven't gotten around to actually making a video to go with the clips, so it may be a project for the weekend. It was going to be a project for this past weekend, but totally didn't happen.

Secondly, I wrote almost six handwritten pages today during nap time! It was wonderful! I have other handwritten pages I'll be typing up after this. Will edit with my word count. It's under where it should be (way under!) but I've changed my goal  from 50,000 to "write every day" which is a much higher goal than my not-writing that I was doing before. So, yeah. Hopefully I get to at least 25,000--pretty sure that's possible--but if not, well, at least I'll have written something every day.

((Update: My total is now 3938, a bit under half today's goal. Not too bad. I actually wrote just over 1100 words during nap time today. I was on a roll, so I don't expect that every day--writing by hand is NOT my forte--but still!))

OH BAI. (And Long Live.)

The First Weekend

I just wanted to say, though I've been working steadily since I was fifteen, I have never had a "9-5" or real weekends. In high school I would always work at least one day a weekend in addition to afternoons during the week. At Hollins, weekends were obviously dedicated to homework and the like. Two solid days of no responsibility after a week of doing things? Unthinkable.

And so, so, SO necessary. This week:

There are clean clothes in the hamper that didn't get folded.
Dirty clothes all over the floor because there's no hamper to put them in.
Dishes piled up on the nightstand.
Tissues EVERYWHERE.
No food in the cupboards.
Incredibly few "365" pictures on my camera.
Empty chip bags chillin' by the fridge.
Important documents scattered around by the TV. (Blame the cat for this one)
Dinner was served at 8 consistently.

In short, everything is a complete and utter mess. I just didn't care enough when I got home each evening. I would sort of fall into bed and and pull off my tennis shoes (too cold for flipflops--but they finally made my pinky-toe nail cut into the toe beside it yesterday. I hate shoes!), and my jacket, and lay there cooling off after a walk home. It's not even that far and there aren't many hills. I think my body overcompensates for the lack of heat on the outside by absolutely overheating me from within. Anyway.

I get home at about 5:30, and I've been falling asleep between 9:30 and 10:30, which I don't think will be a consistent thing--I'm just getting re-used to not getting 12 hours of sleep each night! But that's four to five hours of being able to clean and whatnot right? Wrong. I don't know where the time goes. Well, I do. First Cal and I make dinner (he gets home around the same time--sometimes later--each day!) On Tuesday we had to do a little shopping because that's our usual day to do it and neither of us obviously had time that day but we had very little food in the house. So we got a few things to get us by and THEN had to go make dinner, which was very late and I was starving.

But after that, dinner's been later than usual too because neither of us are there to start it up to be ready when the other gets home, so that's been frustrating, having to actually make dinner AFTER work! I'm looking into some crock pot recipes that we can leave on all day. Only thing is, we don't have a crock pot (or a place to put it), but we'll figure something out!

We've been watching an episode of Buffy with dinner, having finished Avatar. You guys. I don't even know what to think about this show. Neither of us had seen it before, and it just makes me watch the screen in horror. So THAT was the 90s, huh?

And at that point, after Buffy, it's like an hour before bed MAYBE and I sit down to write a bit or read--I'll do a CampNaNo post or video later today--and then I sleep, wake up at 7, start the next day. Weekends, I think, were designed for restoring a bit of sanity to the environment in which you live. I was GOING to dedicate weekends to writing like a wild woman, but as it is, my weekend's to-do list looks something like this:

Sign up for First Aid Certificate training.
CLEAN THE ROOM.
Do a load of laundry.
Actually put clean laundry away.
Do the dishes.
Organize cupboards/fridge.
Create next week's meal plan.
Make a shopping list.
Go shopping.
Finish that library book, it's due soon.
Type up hand-written NaNo words before you go insane.
Write... IF YOU HAVE TIME.

That said, I absolutely love that I feel like I don't have time for EVERYTHING. You know? I mean, my last few posts were all "omg not motivated have NOTHING to do" and now everything is a lot more interesting since I have too much to do. I think I'll be better at time-managing over the next few weeks. I'm going to write up a schedule and stick to it--because I mean, one load of laundry when I get home isn't that taxing, right? And I could always write up a meal plan on Fridays during nap time or something.

Anyway... that's an awfully rambly post to say "my room is messy and I'm going to clean it." But there you go.

OH! Also, I think I'm addicted to Nutella. That is, I'm going through withdrawals. I can't eat it or peanut butter in the mornings (usually I'd have one or the other OR BOTH on toast) because of the potential allergic reactions in a certain small child if any of it happens to be on my clothes/face/teeth after and gets transferred over to him. So all week I've been CRAVING Nutella. And now I'm going to go get some for breakfast, since it's a Saturday. OMNOMNOM. Makes me appreciate it that much more, I think!

An Obsession with a Tree and Other Reflections on a First Week

I have to say, nannying is kind of an "ideal" job, really. I mean, if you like kids. My days have consisted of playing in the sandbox, reading picture books, Ring Around the Rosie, peek-a-boo, singing along to nursery rhymes, and tickling. Then there's nap time, where I get to write. Almost two solid hours of writing fun, depending on the day. And I get paid!

Some things:

1) The child has developed this obsession with a tree in the back yard. It's sort of built up a bit, so it's a toddler-step up to get to it, and I think he's just discovered that he can reach it. He will spend so much time just standing near the tree and staring up at the leaves and pointing that I decided I needed to do something to interact with him, so I started teaching him the different parts of a tree: trunk, bark, branch, and leaves. He will now say "bark" and "branch" (well, more like "berk" and "bernch") when I point at them, which is absolutely adorable.

2) He absolutely loves water. Like, adores it. He keeps asking me to turn the taps on whenever we're outside, but it's just so cold that I don't want him to get all wet. So today I set up an area in the bathroom, just grabbing some stuff out of the kitchen. I set up some towels, a giant bowl of water, a cup, and a funnel. He literally sat and poured water from the cup into the funnel (which I directed at the bowl) for an hour. Non-stop. Fully concentrating. He was just so enthralled by how the water poured from the funnel, and then in the feel of the water going out of the funnel (alternately sticking his hands underneath the spout and then inside the mouth of the funnel). And he would just giggle. So adorable.

3) He started crying when I leave. Is it horrible that I take that as a good sign?

4) I have created a game that the parents will probably hate me for. I do a bit of housework when I can, liking hanging the washing out on the line (since this country doesn't do dryers!) and then folding it in the afternoon. On Monday he was running around while his mother and I did this together, and that's when he fell and hit his eye hard against a concrete pot, making his eyebrow swell enough to make his eye look half the size of the other one and providing for some spectacular black, blue, yellow, and green bruising. Anyway, I think he became less keen on running around in that area and instead sort of clung to my legs when I went out the next day. I picked him up and you could just see the light in his eye when he realized HE was now tall enough to touch the pegs. He can get them off the line but hasn't quite mastered clipping them back on. Anyway, he'll collect some pegs and try to pin up clothes but inevitably his collection will fall to the ground, at which point he goes "uh-oh!" and I set him down and say "pick them up!" and hastily reach for a few more items I can hang up/fold while he gathers the pegs. Then he runs back and throws his arms around my legs and says "UP!" and we start the process over again. He thinks this is THE BEST game. Sometimes if he hasn't dropped the pegs in a while he'll throw them down instead. "Uh-oh!" Makes hanging up the washing take about twice as long, but so cute.

5) The child doesn't throw fits. Like, at all. Except at nap time. But then only when his mother is there (she works from home two days a week). Today, after "UP!" we went in for nap time and he just sort of babbled at me and pointed to the books he wanted read to him and then pointed to his clock. (There are these fascinating toddler clocks with a sun and stars. Set the amount of time for them to sleep, and the sun goes away and the stars come out. The sun comes back when it's time to get up. If he wakes up early, he'll just babble to himself until "the sun comes out," at which point he's like "HEY! It's time to get up!") So basically he was like, it's time to sleep now. And I put him in his cot and he waved bye and rolled over and went straight to sleep.

So basically, I kind of love this job. I mean, you know, talk to me in a few weeks maybe and I might be getting tired of it. But even changing diapers isn't that bad. Of course, I have a cold (YES, AGAIN) so maybe when my nose is a bit unblocked I'll be worse off!

I got paid for my first week and put some money into my "tax fund." I'm looking for a new spreadsheet to record financial stuff on, because I just decided that I don't like the one I made. Anyone have any suggestions?

Mini-Tax-Attack

I think I just gave myself a mini-heart attack. You know how I roll.

I was looking at what I would do for taxes with this job. I'm getting paid cash-in-hand and since I'm trying to move to this country permanently, I'd rather not go the tax evasion route. This amount of money each week wouldn't exactly be easy to hide once it's in a bank, and I don't trust mattresses. They eat things. Like socks. And teddy bears.

Cal had the excellent idea to turn one of my bank accounts into my "tax account." The financial year ends on June 30 so I won't have to worry about it for almost a year, but I will need to pay taxes at the end of next year on all of this income that hasn't been taxed. (At least, I hope it turns out to be "all of this income!") Therefore, we decided to take out what would be taxed and put it into this other account to sit and wait to be paid to the government next July. That way when next July rolls around, we won't be hit with a bill that makes us want to cry in a corner and wish we hadn't bought those candy bars, or video games, or contributed to our cat's nip problem.

So I toddled over to the Australian Taxation Office's website and looked around to see what I could see, and found my mouth hanging open (with drool slowly pooling on my peacoat-sweatshirt-thing), eyes bugging like a seven tentacled octopus when he realized his eighth tentacle had wandered off again. For foreign residents, ANY income accumulated under $80,000 each year was taxed 32.5 cents to the dollar.

32.5%?? I did some quick calculator-math and found a third of my paycheck would be taken away (I mean, obviously--32.5%!), leaving me feeling as though that question about "should I start paying off my loans early" kind of null and void.

HOWEVER, I then read the fine print, which I should really do to begin with. It'd save me a lot of heart attack moments like this one. Just in life. I think I'll make that my slogan: read the fine print before you have a freak out. (Or maybe get an Emily One to follow me around telling me to calm myself. Emily One, do you sell mini-yous to dictate your wisdom?)

Turns out, I'm NOT a foreign resident for tax purposes if:

*I've been in Australia for 6 months continuously, and for most of the time I've been in the same job and living in the same place.
*Moved to Australia and live here permanently.

The first of which ought to be true by the time next year rolls around, and the second of which will PROBABLY be true by the time next year rolls around. At least, I'm planning on applying for permanent residency some time in November as Cal has another full year of university to go through after this semester, and my current visa is only through next June, and I am NOT doing that long distance thing again! Not to say I'm ruling out living in the States again, but seriously.

Anyway, that puts me in a bracket that I can manage without looking like a squished tree frog. Nothing taxed up until $18,000, and only 19 cents to the dollar after that. (Well, until $37,000, but I don't think I'll be making that much.) I'm planning on putting something like $100 in that tax account each week, which still leaves me with plenty for savings/loan payments, and I'm pretty sure I'll be able to keep a lot of what's in that account at the end of the financial year, too.

Wow. Big girl problems, huh? The thing is, even with the mini-heart attack, I kind of like dealing with them. (She says as she creates MORE SPREADSHEETS.) Okay. So maybe it's just that I love spreadsheets. That's not so bad, is it?

I AM EMPLOYED!!!

First off, let me just go over my day yesterday with you all. I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep and had taken a lot of precautions (read: feeding the cat) in order to sleep in as late as possible after Cal left for work. Such a dream was crushed when a rather loud, obnoxious knock at the door woke me up between 9 and 9:30, and I was extraordinarily grumpy all day. But that grumpiness sort of awoke this "I cannot sit in this house any longer" sort of mood, and I went into super-Emily mode in order to apply to as many places as possible.

All up, I ended up sending out about 15 applications yesterday to various babysitting, childcare centre, and admin positions. Lots of hard work went into custom cover letters and making it sound like Such And Such Business was the only place I would ever want to work. (I hate cover letters.) After Cal got back from work, I ended up posting a couple of ads on Gumtree--sort of Australia's Craigslist. One was for admin, the other for babysitting/nannying. I thought, I've got the recruitment agency and Find A Babysitter doing these for me already, really, but why not?

The ads were short--maybe 300 words each, max--and yet half an hour later, I had an e-mail in my inbox about a full time nanny position in a suburb that's literally just down the road. For the next six months.

I sort of stared at it for a few minutes, disbelieving, and sent an e-mail back declaring my interest. I felt a bit resentful honestly. Not at the offer, of course, but at the time I spent during the day writing all of those cover letters when it appeared the only thing I needed to do was write up a short snippet about how awesome I am (along with a picture--remember, "ads with pictures are more successful"). But I was so, so, so grateful for this offer. I didn't get my hopes up too high, though. I actually scanned Find A Babysitter and realized that the woman had put up an ad there that I'd skipped over because she was asking for someone with formal qualifications, which I still don't have. Still, I thought, worth a shot.

You'll notice my FB status today sort of laid out how the day was going to go. While I feel like I can safely say I'm over my sickness (can breathe in mornings and I'm not really coughing anymore!) when I woke up this morning my voice was extremely rough, and no amount of throat-clearing was doing anything to help. It literally sounded like I had spent all night partying and screaming and whatever people do to make them sound like this in the morning. And of course, I thought, "The lady who wants me to be a nanny is going to call REAL soon, because that's how life goes." And about five minutes after I expressed this worry to Cal, she did, and asked me to meet them later that afternoon.

Luckily, a hot shower and some VapoDrops helped my voice return to normal, and in the afternoon I was off to meet the family. The only way they could be more conveniently located is if they were across the street, I swear. There's a bus stop literally right outside our house, but only three routes stop here. Two of them go to the stop that's practically right outside THEIR house, and it's only about a five minute ride. Honestly, I would consider just walking there if it wasn't completely up hill. I don't really want to arrive covered in sweat each day. (I'm probably going to walk back each day though--I did today and it's only about fifteen minutes, which is honestly a shorter amount of time than it would take just waiting for a bus.)

Basically: got there, and the family is incredibly nice. They even offered to drive me home after the interview. Their little boy is absolutely adorable. He's got these big, beautiful eyes that I'm not sure I'm going to be able to say no to. He's just over a year and a half old, and seems really well behaved and fun. Busy, obviously, and I was told he could get stubborn sometimes, but I don't think that's going to be anything I can't handle. During the interview he was laughing and picking stuff off the floor to give to me, and when I left he blew me a kiss. See? Adorable.

But DURING the interview I was thinking, "There is no way I'm going to get this." First off, I was asked if I had a first aid certificate and knew how to use an epi-pen because the boy is allergic to peanuts and eggs and the time might come when I need to use it. And I said no to both, thinking then and there that that was going to royally kill my chances of getting this job. But I did say I was willing to get one, as I was planning on it anyway (a lot of families want their nannies/babysitters to have one, and it was required for the certificate in childcare which I was looking into). One of my housemates is a nurse and she recently renewed hers, and it sounds like a pretty easy process.

They seemed to like that I didn't like sitting kids in front of the TV--it makes me feel insanely guilty, since I don't think I should be getting paid to let them watch TV!--and that I had already thought of activities for him. I've been browsing Pinterest again and found a lot of good sites for kids' activities, including one that broke down activities by age (so I was looking at the 1, 1.5, and 2 year old activities). Lots of options out there, who knew? I don't have a TON of experience with smaller children, so I was glad to see there were just as many activities for them as there were for older kids.

So anyway, at the end, the dad said, "Well, I guess we'll decide tonight or tomorrow then" or something like that, and then the mom sort of sighed and was like, "Well... I don't know, what do you think?" And then she turned to me and said, "It's just that you seem so NORMAL." Which isn't exactly what you'd hear people saying at Hollins about me, but I grinned because it sounded like there was a story there, and there is. Apparently they've gone through a string of unreliable nannies, including their latest who is 22 with an artificially-inseminated partner, and the two of them decided it was a good idea to foster three children under the age of three. I mean, making your own baby at 22 is one thing--some people on my friends list are starting to do it on purpose, that's fine if you're in the right position to do so--but I just canNOT imagine going from ZERO kids to three children under the age of three, with another on the way, especially at my age. That would be insane.

Then she gave me the job! And I start tomorrow! I am so ecstatic!

I'll be working 40 hours a week, roughly 9-5 Monday-Friday (though there may be days once in a while where I'm not needed, or I might be needed on a Saturday). She wants me for six months (or more, if I get a longer visa by then!). It's pretty much completely ideal. And the little boy has a nap in the afternoons, so if I'm not doing some cleaning odd-jobs I'll have plenty of time to get some writing done.

You guys. SO HAPPY. Also: THERE IS HOPE. Don't give up!

Also, money-wise, what do you guys think? Like I've said before, Cal and I are saving on JUST what he earns. I'm definitely going to save a chunk of my paycheck, but do you think I should start putting another chunk toward student loans, since I can? I'm not sure if I should build up a lot of savings first and then start paying off, or try to decrease the amount of interest I'll be paying as soon as I can. What would you do?

Saying oh bai for now. As I dance around the living room in complete and utter joy.