The World is Ruled by Money

Right, so, I was trying to figure out my life again. You know, long term. Because I'm quite enjoying this job as a nanny, but as it stands now he has a place open for him at the daycare centre in January (which is around the time the position was going to end, anyway). I probably need to be making a bit more money then too, as Cal might not be able to keep his job while doing his Graduate Diploma in Education. Anyway.

We've also been discussing where we want to live again. Here is what we know:

1) I absolutely love this city. It's city, but it's suburb too--it's not like London, where everything is so incredibly crowded and you feel like you need to put a lock on your purse just to get on the tube. There's diversity and lots of stuff to do with pretty great public transport, so everything's at your fingertips. But the people are so much friendlier than, say, London. People talk on public transport. And smile.

2) My friends and family aren't here. For family, this is largely in regards to when we have children (but we want to have everything sorted by then--I'd rather not move countries with a toddler in tow!). Cal pointed out that I'm probably going to want family around when we have kids, and I think he's right. He's not that close to his family, and despite me quite liking his siblings, I do want my children to know their grandparents.

3) But that brings us to another dilemma: I don't want to live in Michigan. Southern Michigan isn't that great, the UP has more empty space than not, and Northern Michigan is just... Well. I don't want to be stuck there. Again. Suffocating. Plus, I want my kids to have more interactions with people who are NOT white protestants, thank you very much. So, no Michigan, no family too close by. Yeah, probably more frequent visits, but how much more is "more frequent?"

4) If we didn't live in Michigan, where would we live? My next thought was east coast, because so many of you people reading this live over there. I want my pocket of friends back, close enough for a visit maybe once a month or so (or you know, more.) But then what kind of job would I take on? What do I want to do with my life?

5) Which brings us to the title of this post. The obvious choice for me would be New York, where all the publishing jobs are. I would still quite like to do publishing (more on that below), but I'm not sure anymore if I could live in New York. I really didn't like living in London and feeling so crowded all the time. Brisbane doesn't feel that way at all, which is partially what I love about it. Certain people tell me New York is quite similar to London. I'd have to visit first to be certain, of course, but right now my heart's saying no. Which pretty much means no publishing jobs, right?

Back to the title: THE WORLD IS RULED BY MONEY. Upon realizing this, I realized what was making me hesitate in regards to publishing. Publishing is all about making money. Obviously. But... because I'm so passionate about what I read, I'm not sure if I want to go into the business of "reading for money." You know? Things are getting published that don't deserve it, but they're making a ton of money (coughFiftyShadescough). Now, this isn't just sour grapes about my own manuscript not being taken up. I'm not JK or Tammy or someone. But every person I call a friend is way better than that author, and none of us are published.

I don't want to be in it for the money. I want to be in it for the quality and the interesting and still make money. In my head, the world is ideal. In reality, it is not.

So if you were keeping track, I a) don't know where to live, and b) don't know what I want to do with my life. Still. Childcare doesn't pay THAT much in the long run. Not if you're thinking about having at least two kids and enough money to travel frequently. I hate thinking.

6) I just thought about ways to save money. We could relocate to the UK. Now, I didn't like living in London, but living somewhere like Inverness or something wouldn't be so bad. UK has bonus points for being closer to the US (and half the cost of getting there) as well as being close to Europe for holiday excursions. A bit of research tells me they take on teachers and their spouses, so once Cal's all qualified it would potentially be feasible.

It's just, there's an entire WORLD out there, you guys. I haven't seen enough of it. I have to spend my time making money in order to travel, and then have no real time to do any traveling because I have to have a job where I can make money. Five years from now I want to be in the process of starting a family, because I don't want to be an older parent and I definitely want kids. But once you have kids, how impossible is it to travel? Because now you have kids who don't want to go to boring old ruins and cry in planes and have to go down for a nap at certain times. Plus you need a job to feed them, and a job takes  up time, time you won't be able to travel...

In summary: I don't know what I want to do with my life, or maybe I do, and it's just that it's impossible to achieve given the Earth's current circumference.

If Pangaea could just reform, or something, I could live here and be close to family, friends, and places I want to visit. I'd still have the "what' to work out, but I'd be quite comfortable with the "where."